Last night I reached my breaking point.
I am three weeks from graduating and it seems like everything is going wrong. Most students are nervous about graduating but, I am dreading each an every day here.
I’ve always noticed that anxiety always comes back when my stress levels are high and they have been higher than normal lately. I am doing research papers, preparing for finals, trying to rub two nickels together to get through the week and worst of all I feel alone.
I am away from people who I know care about me and it gets hard sometimes. The thing that stresses me out the most is not knowing who to trust.
When I woke up this morning I came across this YouTube video that lifted my spirit. This young lady’s story inspired me to keep going.
If you are going through depression or anxiety I think you should watch this video because it really helped me.
When it seems as if everything is wrong, sometimes you have to remind yourself who you are. It is none of your business what people think of you but, what truly matters is what you think about yourself.
We all know that one girl that we can not stand.
The girl that sleeps with everyone’s man. The girl who is super loud in the morning for no reason. The girl who thinks she’s “all that” because she is Instagram famous when we all know she bought her followers. Or the girl that is always mad for no reason.
Well you know what, that girl is not the problem. Yes, I said it she is not the problem and here is why.
In society women are taught to hate one another from the times they are born. We are taught to compete with one another to be the best.
I use to be that girl who hated other girls because, I believed that other girls were the problem. A few days ago I came to the conclusion that I am a part of the problem. For me to hate another woman because of her faults would make me a hypocrite. We all have been that girl that we hate at one point in our lives.
Someone once told me that we hate people because, we see something in them that we hate about ourselves. We complain that we can’t stand it when girls are shady then, brag when we throw shade as if we have that right. Everyone has looked at someone at-least one time in their life and mentally judged something about them. Shade has no gender, anyone can do that.
We have to change our minds and learn to love one another despite our flaws. We all have flaws and when we hate someone, we have to look in the mirror and ask ourselves why. Even though we are taught to compete with one another we can reverse that. Stop giving in to the ways of society and be yourself.
There is only one you. When you are yourself, you don’t have time to put other woman down because, you are in your own lane. When you stay in you own lane you understand your value and encourage other woman because you understand that they are not a threat.
Today I wanted to acknowledge anyone who has ever read or supported my blog.
I started my blog four years ago and I am happy to see how much it has grown over the years. Thank you all for your feedback and allowing me to be a voice for those who have struggled with the same issues I have faced. Dealing with issues from anxiety, depression, heartbreak and broken friendships, I was able to share my experiences with you and share how I got through it.
When I first created this blog it was called Words of the Unspoken which was designed to help me find my voice during a time when I was going through a lot. With Mocha Mag I plan to grow as a writer and reach more people.
Today, I discovered that I have reached 1000 followers and I had to let you all know that I couldn’t do it without you. In the future I plan to put out more content, time and energy into the success of this blog.I hope all of you are having an amazing day and look out for more content coming soon. If you every have any topic or experience you would like me to share in this blog don’t hesitate to ask.
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The darkest hour has a way of exposing your pain.
The darkest hour knows how to make you look him in his face. The darkest hour separates the weak from the strong because he will either make you strong or tear you apart.
I made it past the darkest hour because I’m here today and so did you. But the funny thing about the darkest hour is that when you think you’ve met him sometimes he come back stronger and with a vengeance.
When you meet him again you have to be strong. We often find ourselves caving our pain inside and taking on the world with an artificial confidence. In order to be prepared for the darkest hour we have to let go of the pain from the past because healing builds strength. When you are able to walk away from a closed door with closure then you will be equipped to face whatever is in store in the next door.
When you have a better outlook on life it’s easier to get past challenges because you know that pain comes and go. With wisdom you can approach any obstacle with a warrior mentality. The warrior mentality is the mentality that you can conquer any obstacle that comes your way.
When the darkest hour comes know that an hour is only a spec in time and you can get through it.
There are times in life when we meet people that come along to make life better. Then there are times when people come along in our lives to make things worse. Yes, I have fallen a victim to the game, but I have been hurt enough to know how to make sure it never happens again. We need to stop fighting for relationships that have failed over and over again just to be stuck back where we started. I use to think that when you are with someone you are supposed to fight to keep them, but with maturity I have learned that you have to know what is worth fighting for. Some things are not just worth the fight so if you have been off and on with your sweetheart, I will let you know the signs you need to look out for so you can run as far as you can while you got the chance.
- NO COMMUNICATION
Okay, now I know that we all have busy lives, but if there is no communication then you are not a priority. I have heard almost every excuse in the book in past relationships: I am going through a lot, I don’t want to be hurt again, and I worked overtime. Sometimes these things are true, but if these excuses are used often then you are clearly not a priority for them. When you first met them it was all about you, but after getting comfortable their attention has wandered elsewhere. I am not saying be clingy, that is a turn off. If a week has gone by and your partner has been MIA then you need to reevaluate why you are wasting your time.
- EX WON’T GO AWAY
Now most people have at least one crazy ex unless you’re just that good at picking them. If your partner is still in contact with their ex then this is a red flag. There are rare cases when their ex may be cool with the both of you or may genuinely respect your relationship, but if this is not the case then you may want to back away before things get messy. Never believe someone when they tell you that they can’t help it. If their ex still has access to communicate with them then the person clearly is not against it. I know because if I have an ex that continues to contact me in a while I’m in a new relationship I don’t hesitate to block them on any and everything I can block them from.
- OUTSIDERS BECOME BETWEEN YOU
When I say outsiders, I mean anyone who isn’t you and that person. Even though you love your mother and grandma, they should never be able to have enough information to tell you how to handle your relationship. The same goes for your friends, if your friends are around your age nine out of ten they’re probably having the same issues as you are. We often judge others’ lives with bias so be careful who you spill the tea too. So if your partner has been acting strange for no reason make sure his/her mother or best friend isn’t the mastermind behind the confusion.
- THEY START UNESSECARY ARGUMENTS
This is one of the biggest cries of help in a relationship. If your partner is looking for any reason to create conflict between you there is a chance that he/she is looking for a reason to leave. When things get to this point your best bet is to let them be free. Don’t waste your time trying to figure out where you went wrong because you probably did nothing. Some people are facing internal battles that are beyond your control and even though you want to be there for them through it, some battles we have to fight on our own.