Saturday Inspiration: Beating Anxiety

Last night I reached my breaking point.

I am three weeks from graduating and it seems like everything is going wrong. Most students are nervous about graduating but, I am dreading each an every day here.

I’ve always noticed that anxiety always comes back when my stress levels are high and they have been higher than normal lately. I am doing research papers, preparing for finals, trying to rub two nickels together to get through the week and worst of all I feel alone.

I am away from people who I know care about me and it gets hard sometimes. The thing that stresses me out the most is not knowing who to trust.

When I woke up this morning I came across this YouTube video that lifted my spirit. This young lady’s story inspired me to keep going.

If you are going through depression or anxiety I think you should watch this video because it really helped me.

When it seems as if everything is wrong, sometimes you have to remind yourself who you are. It is none of your business what people think of you but, what truly matters is what you think about yourself.

 

The Real Reason Why Ladies Only Want Guy Friends

We all know that one girl that we can not stand.

The girl that sleeps with everyone’s man. The girl who is super loud in the morning for no reason. The girl who thinks she’s “all that” because she is Instagram famous when we all know she bought her followers. Or the girl that is always mad for no reason.

Well you know what, that girl is not the problem. Yes, I said it she is not the problem and here is why.

In society women are taught to hate one another from the times they are born. We are taught to compete with one another to be the best.

I use to be that girl who hated other girls because, I believed that other girls were the problem. A few days ago I came to the conclusion that I am a part of the problem. For me to hate another woman because of her faults would make me a hypocrite. We all have been that girl that we hate at one point in our  lives.

Someone once told me that we hate people because, we see something in them that we hate about ourselves. We complain that we can’t stand it when girls are shady then, brag when we throw shade as if we have that right. Everyone has looked at someone at-least one time in their life and mentally judged something about them. Shade has no gender, anyone can do that.

We have to change our minds and learn to love one another despite our flaws. We all have flaws and when we hate someone, we have to look in the mirror and ask ourselves why. Even though we are taught to compete with one another we can reverse that. Stop giving in to the ways of society and be yourself.

There is only one you. When you are yourself, you don’t have time to put other woman down because, you are in your own lane. When you stay in you own lane you understand your value and encourage other woman because you understand that they are not a threat.

Making It through the Darkest Hour

The darkest hour has a way of exposing your pain.

The darkest hour knows how to make you look him in his face. The darkest hour separates the weak from the strong because he will either make you strong or tear you apart.

I made it past the darkest hour because I’m here today and so did you. But the funny thing about the darkest hour is that when you think you’ve met him sometimes he come back stronger and with a vengeance.

When you meet him again you have to be strong. We often find ourselves caving our pain inside and taking on the world with an artificial confidence. In order to be prepared for the darkest hour we have to let go of the pain from the past because healing builds strength. When you are able to walk away from a closed door with closure then you will be equipped to face whatever is in store in the next door.

When you have a better outlook on life it’s easier to get past challenges because you know that pain comes and go. With wisdom you can approach any obstacle with a warrior mentality. The warrior mentality is the mentality that you can conquer any obstacle that comes your way.

When the darkest hour comes know that an hour is only a spec in time and you can get through it.

Standing Alone

Over the years I’ve learned that sometimes it is better to stand alone. Their are times when we crave companionship and relations, but at what cost are we willing to pay for it? Time and time, again I’ve found myself surrounded by  people who do not contribute anything positive to my life around me.

In the past I talked to people for the sake of being bored or feeling alone until I realized that I felt lonelier around people who did not fulfill any purpose. Often times I may come off as reserved because I am very selective with who I allow into my life, but you can’t be afraid to expect more from people.

A friend of mine once told me that he stopped caring when people treated him bad because he stop expecting much from people but this can be a bad thing. Lowering your expectations, limits your quality of life. Imagine how life would be if everyone who you allowed was on your team?

We will never experience this true satisfaction if we are not cautious of who we allow in our inner circle. Some people use people for what they need and keep it moving. For instance, in high school, I had friends that served different purposed. This is not a terrible thing but how would you feel if someone only wanted to be your friend to fulfill one thing.

What if someone hung out with you when their other friends were not available. I never did this exactly, but I’ve been in situations where I was that friend that tagged along so someone wouldn’t be alone. This is the worst time of friendship because it showed that you are not valued for who you are.

One red flag that someone is not your friend is if you have never had a serious or deep conversation with them or if you feel uncomfortable sharing your life with them. Life is to short too hold on to people that has no value in your life.

When I was at work yesterday I noticed that a few ladies around my age where socializing on on their lunch break when I walked in. I consider myself selectively social so I stood back and observed their behavior. I noticed that they were very unapproachable and closed off to others who were outside of the group. I didn’t take it personal because observing people’s behavior is my way of dissecting who someone truly is.

When they were alone and outside of the group I noticed that they were more open to get to know me and took the initiative to reach out which disturbed me a little. It bothered me how much people are willing to do to feel socially validated.

When they were together no one had any interest in getting to know who I was or anyone else when they validated one another but, when they were alone, their approach changed. When they approached me individually when I had to work with them, I did not value their company because I didn’t see it as genuine.

I am not telling you to shut the world out, but know the difference between someone who is there to fill up time and someone who will not just fill that time but, help you elevate. Until you recognize who those people are don’t be afraid to stand alone.

Something Bigger Than Yourself

 

“The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.”                                -Mahatma Gandhi

Gandhi could not have said it any better. There are so many times when we focus on ourselves to find ourselves. Your true character is built when you impact the lives of others. I use to always think that I could find myself and perfect it then I could take on the world. After numerous attempts, I am living proof that this will never work.

For the past few days, I have felt very empty. As a college student, I have not been involved in anything, leading me to feel like I was living without a purpose. I watch other people who are passionate about groups and causes that they are a part of and I ask myself what’s stopping me.

There is something powerful about someone that can be a part of something bigger than themselves. I’ve made excuses so many times as to why I can’t do something and end up regretting my decisions over and over.

When I watched this video about the 15 year old kid who took on the government for a cause that he was passionate for I was inspired. Most adults don’t even have the courage to take on a cause the way this young man did.

I would like to challenge you and myself to take on something that matters to you. Whether you are the leader or just a part of a group that works toward a cause that you are passionate about. Sometimes we become so comfortable that we miss out on opportunities that has the power to impact the world.

Check out the video on Vice.

5 Ways To Let Go

Is there something on your mind and it seems that you just can’t let go?

It is time to get yourself out of the center. We only hurt because we are focused on ourselves. Just think about it? When someone says something offensive to you what is your first reaction? We are more concerned with how people treat us than how we treat other people. When you are more concerned with how people treat you then how you treat them you become vulnerable. You give power to that person and you will only hurt yourself.

I know it’s not easy to let go so I came up with a list of 5 Rules to help you let go of whatever is holding you back:

Rules to letting go

  1. Never fight thoughts with thought: When you fight thoughts with thoughts you will only create more thoughts that will bring you back to the same thought that bothered you in the first place. The power comes in speaking over your situation. We can’t allow things to hurt us that has nothing to do with us. Life is bigger than yourself so everything is not a direct threat to you.
  2. Focus on something that will help you: A way that I redirect my focus is by focusing on something that actually makes me happy. If you are hurt over something that someone did to you then do something that you love. Put your time and energy into something that makes you happy and you won’t have time to worry about what someone did.
  3. Don’t feel sorry for yourself: This is a big problem that I see all the time. People love to be the victim and feel bad for themselves. We get so caught up with blaming the person who hurt us. When we do this we fail to realize that the person who hurt us is probably moving on with their lives. Take it as a lesson learned and grow from it.
  4. Guard what you are exposed to: The Philosophies that we are exposed to will determine how we will perceive our situation. Whether it is Facebook, Instagram, or even the people we are around you can find yourself adopting the wrong philosophies. I had to catch myself sometimes because I would watch funny videos a lot because it was entertaining, but then I would find myself adopting some of their ideas and philosophies.
  5. Be persistent: Lastly, don’t give up. Practice makes perfect. The more you realize that everything is not about you it will be easier not to be so easily offended. Continue to focus on the things that makes you happy and don’t entertain anything that will hurt you.

Turn Your Fear Into Fuel

Close your eyes. Imagine living in a world where your fear becomes your best friend. That chill of fear becomes excitement. What if I told you that you can generate that energy into a force that makes you stronger? It makes you invincible and with this new found strength you can do the unthinkable.

Fear can hold us back from reaching our full potential and quality of life. Whether you fear being lonely, the darkness or your deepest inner thoughts, it is time to be set free. To be free is to live without boundaries and to reach heights beyond your limits.

It all changed for me after a silent prayer.

“I declare that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

I looked into the crowd and they looked back at me. I was able to relax the vibration of my legs and my body became still. My eyes ran around the room at the still faces.

Breathe. Pause. Breathe. Pause.

My mouth opens and I am invincible. My voice projected as clear as a water drop.

The moment ends with and applause and my professor’s smile meeting mine. I knew that I just done the unthinkable. The last time I presented in from of the class my voice stuttered like a guilty defendant standing in front of a jury.

I was not afraid of the crowd. I took back my power and they followed holding on to my every syllable.

Whatever it is that you fear, take it head on. With God in me all things are possible.

So what will you let fear do to you?