Your Beauty Is Going To Cost You

Throughout our entire lives, we invest thousands of dollars on our image.

We spend money on our hair, nails and clothes just to keep up our image.

I am not here to bash you or myself for it, but sometimes I wonder if we realize that no matter how much we change our physical appearance, we will always remain the same.

While I was riding on the bus today, a street preacher said something that really hit me. She said that our bodies are like houses. Who we truly are is not a reflection of what is on the outside but it’s a reflection of what is on the inside.

This really hit me because lately, I’ve noticed that I have been spending a lot of money on changing my hair to feel better about myself when deep down I wasn’t really fixing the core of the problem.

I wasn’t insecure and unhappy because my hair wasn’t a certain way. I was insecure and unhappy because I wasn’t secure on the inside.

Every week, I change appearance in hopes that the hair will make me feel better about myself only to feel like crap again the next day.

No style or image can ever amount to how you truly feel about yourself. A lot of times, we waste money on buying things to be validated, but their isn’t enough validation in the world to make you love who you are.

No matter how beautiful you are, there will always be someone that will find someone else more attractive. No matter how well dressed or put together you are, there will always be someone who will be able to afford nicer things than you. So, we must learn how to be whole within ourselves.

Think about it. Have you ever watched hoarders?

Have you seen those episodes when the outside of the house looked fine?

You would never expect that anything was wrong with the house by looking on the outside of it because it was well kept. But when you go inside the house, it is filled with junk and trash all over.

That’s how people are sometimes. Some of us are too busy trying to make it seem like we have it all together when we are really carrying a lot of trash on the inside. We have flaws and brokenness inside, but most people would never know.

Sometimes, I walk down the city streets and people watch. I look at people who come off wealthy and established and I wonder what lies beneath their exterior, outside of the wealth that they are advertising:

Do they have a healthy marriage?

Do they get along with their children?

Are they lonely?

There is more to life than how you look on the outside.

I don’t have an issue with people keeping themselves up because that is a part of self love, but it becomes a problem when they think changing the outside will fix the problems inside.

I realized that I had a major problem when I spent my last dollar on some hair weave. I was that desperate to feel beautiful going out with my friends that I wasted my last on hair.

At this moment , I knew something had to give. I became a slave to validation and my appearance. No matter how many styles I went through, it was never good enough.

Today, I am deciding to change my perception of beauty. I am deciding to not become obsessed with my image and focus more attention on what’s inside. I am still going to keep up with my image, but I refuse to let it overtake me.

Who said a woman’s crown had to be her glory? True glory is when a woman is one with herself.


  1. I had a similar epiphany back in April this year. I had been coloring my hair once that gray started coming in faster and faster after my 52nd Birthday. Like all women who are getting older you want to retain your youth. I must admit that I did have lots of fun coloring my hair all types of wild colors. Pink, Red, Purple. I got lots of compliments. But after being in an accident in March I had to reassess where I was at. One fine Spring April day as I was riding the bus from yet another doctor’s appointment my spirit said Cut all your hair off and stop coloring it. So a few days later that’s what I did. Cut it all off into a close short Afro and no more spending money on various hair colors. Next year Feb. 2019 I will be Sixty years old. Yes the Big 60 ~~ Six Zero! Hard to believe so much time has passed and I’m going from middle age towards my Senior years. Now I can spend the money on things that I really enjoy and give me pleasure instead of trying to pursue a youth that is long gone. I’m at peace with getting older.

    1. I thought the same thing two weeks ago. I thought about cutting my hair to free myself from stressing about my hair. I changed my mind when I met a guy I liked because I felt like he was attracted to me the way he met me and not how I would look with short hair. I am still learning to overcome this. It’s hard when you’ve been conditioned to allow the hair to make you feel beautiful. A lot of that comes from things I was taught growing up but I’m trying to fight against the grain so my next generation would be your beautiful black girls who know their worth.

      1. Yes I agree. The media and society brainwashes women especially Black Women into thinking that long hair is the best. No one type or hair or hairstyle is better than another. Whatever makes you happy and whatever works for you. As for me I was always a Maverick and Hair Rebel all through my youth. The 70s Big Afro, 80s Jheri Curl, Locs in the 90s and then my hair grew all the way down to my butt! And back to Afros of various sizes.

        One great Natural hair event I’m glad that I discovered a few years ago here in Brooklyn, NY is Curlfest. It is a Celebration of Black Women who wear their hair Natural. Natural hair is a big industry. Every year Curlfest gets bigger and bigger. Vendors, Speakers, Dancers, Entertainment! Amazing! Here is a link to Curlfest 2018 which was held this past summer. Enjoy.

      2. You’re Welcome! My Pleasure! Many African, African-American and Caribbean Natural Hair Care Ladies are cleaning up and making Big Dollars on their YouTube channels! Black Women across the diaspora are developing hair care products especially for Black Women that are giving the white owned companies a run for their money! I’m glad, happy, overjoyed and pleased to see Black Women Worldwide prospering. Beauty and Business! It is fantastic!

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