I Wasn’t One of Them

I never thought that it would affect me.

When I first came to Buffalo, NY, I would vaguely hear about its history of division and discrimination.

Most of my peers on campus were from the New York City area so I never felt like I was far away from home. Even though cases of discrimination goes on in Long Island, people are a little more liberal, so I never felt threatened by anyone from another race.

One day I learned that being a minority in Buffalo has its adversity. I applied for a retail position at the Galleria Mall and I was excited because, I was confident that I would get the job.

I ironed by best attire and headed to the interview with high hopes. I prayed before I walked into the store and noticed that there was a lady who appeared to be the manager waiting by the registrar.

She walked me to the office so we could start the interview.  She started asking me questions about school and telling me about her experience working in New York City and the cool people she met. It was kind of weird that she talked about herself a lot but, I didn’t mind.

Then she started to get a little more personal. She began to ask me about my family. I was hesitant to answer but, I answered the questions anyways.

“Do you have a father?”

“What about a mom?”

“Did you all grow up together?”

“Why wasn’t your father around?”

At this point I grew uncomfortable so I tried to change the subject. I asked her if she wanted to see my resume so I could talk more about my credential but, she declined my offer.

She said that she wanted to know more about me. She then asked me if I had an internship. When I told her no she suggested that I focus on that rather than apply for the job. A part of me thought that she was genuinely concerned until she started talking comparing her life decisions to mine bragging about her days working in New York and what she accomplished in the past.

At this point I knew that this interview was a disaster and I was sure that I would not get the job. A part of me wanted to tell her that I thought that she was out of line and that her questions were unprofessional but, I stuck it out.

She started asking me questions about when the store was founded and how it began. I felt ashamed that I didn’t know the answer until I realized that she didn’t know the answer either. She pulled up the company’s website and read the answers to her questions off of the computer screen.

After a long 20 minutes of being interrogated she told me that she didn’t think that I was a good fit for the company. I walked out of the interview feeling inferior and did not make eye contact with the employees whose eyes were glued to me when I walked out.

I knew deep down I wasn’t going to get the job from the moment I stepped into the store because I didn’t see anyone who looked like me. I stuck through it and hoped for the best despite my intuition.

Maybe I can be the one that adds diversity here. Maybe I can be that person who can close that gap, I thought to myself but, the reality is, we have a long way to go. I was qualified for the job, I talked well, and I was prepared but, that wasn’t enough.

I wasn’t one of them.

If you ever experience employment discrimination of any kind you can contact the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission for more information.

To share your story you can contact me on Facebook or Twitter.

Saturday Inspiration: Beating Anxiety

Last night I reached my breaking point.

I am three weeks from graduating and it seems like everything is going wrong. Most students are nervous about graduating but, I am dreading each an every day here.

I’ve always noticed that anxiety always comes back when my stress levels are high and they have been higher than normal lately. I am doing research papers, preparing for finals, trying to rub two nickels together to get through the week and worst of all I feel alone.

I am away from people who I know care about me and it gets hard sometimes. The thing that stresses me out the most is not knowing who to trust.

When I woke up this morning I came across this YouTube video that lifted my spirit. This young lady’s story inspired me to keep going.

If you are going through depression or anxiety I think you should watch this video because it really helped me.

When it seems as if everything is wrong, sometimes you have to remind yourself who you are. It is none of your business what people think of you but, what truly matters is what you think about yourself.

 

The Real Reason Why Ladies Only Want Guy Friends

We all know that one girl that we can not stand.

The girl that sleeps with everyone’s man. The girl who is super loud in the morning for no reason. The girl who thinks she’s “all that” because she is Instagram famous when we all know she bought her followers. Or the girl that is always mad for no reason.

Well you know what, that girl is not the problem. Yes, I said it she is not the problem and here is why.

In society women are taught to hate one another from the times they are born. We are taught to compete with one another to be the best.

I use to be that girl who hated other girls because, I believed that other girls were the problem. A few days ago I came to the conclusion that I am a part of the problem. For me to hate another woman because of her faults would make me a hypocrite. We all have been that girl that we hate at one point in our  lives.

Someone once told me that we hate people because, we see something in them that we hate about ourselves. We complain that we can’t stand it when girls are shady then, brag when we throw shade as if we have that right. Everyone has looked at someone at-least one time in their life and mentally judged something about them. Shade has no gender, anyone can do that.

We have to change our minds and learn to love one another despite our flaws. We all have flaws and when we hate someone, we have to look in the mirror and ask ourselves why. Even though we are taught to compete with one another we can reverse that. Stop giving in to the ways of society and be yourself.

There is only one you. When you are yourself, you don’t have time to put other woman down because, you are in your own lane. When you stay in you own lane you understand your value and encourage other woman because you understand that they are not a threat.

Making It through the Darkest Hour

The darkest hour has a way of exposing your pain.

The darkest hour knows how to make you look him in his face. The darkest hour separates the weak from the strong because he will either make you strong or tear you apart.

I made it past the darkest hour because I’m here today and so did you. But the funny thing about the darkest hour is that when you think you’ve met him sometimes he come back stronger and with a vengeance.

When you meet him again you have to be strong. We often find ourselves caving our pain inside and taking on the world with an artificial confidence. In order to be prepared for the darkest hour we have to let go of the pain from the past because healing builds strength. When you are able to walk away from a closed door with closure then you will be equipped to face whatever is in store in the next door.

When you have a better outlook on life it’s easier to get past challenges because you know that pain comes and go. With wisdom you can approach any obstacle with a warrior mentality. The warrior mentality is the mentality that you can conquer any obstacle that comes your way.

When the darkest hour comes know that an hour is only a spec in time and you can get through it.

Joy Behind The Door

 

When joy knocks on your door will you answer?

Your opportunity  to be free from hurt, pain and bondage patiently waits for your arrival. Will you let joy in? The truth is that many times we don’t. We allow the obstacles that we face to discourage us and turn our backs on joy. Well I am ready to let joy in.

Imagine living in a world where your spirit is at peace. Now this idea may seem foreign  to us because trials will come but, we must dig deeper. What if there was more to life than what you see? Life is more of an internal experience that a physical one if you really think about it. So lets dig a little deeper.

I dare you to strip away what you see externally and see yourself real and raw. See yourself for who you truly are and separate yourself from the experience of the world. There is more to life than what we see and if we connect with our true spirit we can find joy. My circumstances may be troubling but it is up to me to let my joy pass me by. Why should I be troubled by the world when there is more to life than my situation.

Today I challenge us to be bold in who we are and be free from our daily experience. So open up, joy is behind the door.

Today Is A New Day


Speaking out has always been a difficult task for me. I remain silent because its easier. Its easier to let people assume who you are, well at least it is for me. I fear speaking up because I fear what people will think about me so I hide behind my wall. My invisible wall is a shield I use against anything that could possibly hurt me but the cost of the wall is life.

Are you truly living if the person you really are is layered underneath the exterior of what others see. I give those around me my poker face so they cant see the hurt and vulnerability that lies beneath my poker face. Well the silence is getting old and isolation has had a toll on me. The lack of human connection can be a bit lonely at times and sometimes its nice not to face the world alone.

The truth is, we all need someone and God is the person to go to. While I’m going through this phase he is with me and wont leave my side despite the obstacles I will face. I am determined to be more like him and let down the wall of fear. Fear is the cause of my wall and if I trust in him I know I can conquer all things through him.

Lately I have been hooked to this song called “When the Day Comes” by Nico & Vinz. It talks about being a warrior and makes me feel invincible. Whenever I feel down or weak I listen to this song and I gives me hope. Although I may be facing many challenges, there has been many battles that I have faced. Although I have won some and lost some, I will win the war. I will defeat my odds and I will achieve all the things that I have imagined.

Although my voice is silenced now, I will not give up. I refuse to continue hiding behind my wall and silencing my voice. Today I will not longer be afraid.

Starting the Next Chapter

 What is it to feel?

 Not flesh or materialist things but to feel someone’s spirit. In tune with their soul you crave their presence. Lately I have been doing a lot of soul searching and I have realized that I have a lot of work to do.

 Today I made a huge decision that will determine the turning point of my life. I choose not to let go of someone who means a lot to me. I am not sure if I made the right decision but, I listened to my heart.

 I looked for advice from various people and I realized that the ultimate decision was up to me. I learned just because you think someone cares about you that do not mean that they know what is best for you.

 Over the years I have lost people in my life that have made a large impact in my life due to my pride but, this time it is different. My heart is telling me to give up so I will and I am ready to live.