Saturday Inspiration: Beating Anxiety

Last night I reached my breaking point.

I am three weeks from graduating and it seems like everything is going wrong. Most students are nervous about graduating but, I am dreading each an every day here.

I’ve always noticed that anxiety always comes back when my stress levels are high and they have been higher than normal lately. I am doing research papers, preparing for finals, trying to rub two nickels together to get through the week and worst of all I feel alone.

I am away from people who I know care about me and it gets hard sometimes. The thing that stresses me out the most is not knowing who to trust.

When I woke up this morning I came across this YouTube video that lifted my spirit. This young lady’s story inspired me to keep going.

If you are going through depression or anxiety I think you should watch this video because it really helped me.

When it seems as if everything is wrong, sometimes you have to remind yourself who you are. It is none of your business what people think of you but, what truly matters is what you think about yourself.

 

The Real Reason Why Ladies Only Want Guy Friends

We all know that one girl that we can not stand.

The girl that sleeps with everyone’s man. The girl who is super loud in the morning for no reason. The girl who thinks she’s “all that” because she is Instagram famous when we all know she bought her followers. Or the girl that is always mad for no reason.

Well you know what, that girl is not the problem. Yes, I said it she is not the problem and here is why.

In society women are taught to hate one another from the times they are born. We are taught to compete with one another to be the best.

I use to be that girl who hated other girls because, I believed that other girls were the problem. A few days ago I came to the conclusion that I am a part of the problem. For me to hate another woman because of her faults would make me a hypocrite. We all have been that girl that we hate at one point in our  lives.

Someone once told me that we hate people because, we see something in them that we hate about ourselves. We complain that we can’t stand it when girls are shady then, brag when we throw shade as if we have that right. Everyone has looked at someone at-least one time in their life and mentally judged something about them. Shade has no gender, anyone can do that.

We have to change our minds and learn to love one another despite our flaws. We all have flaws and when we hate someone, we have to look in the mirror and ask ourselves why. Even though we are taught to compete with one another we can reverse that. Stop giving in to the ways of society and be yourself.

There is only one you. When you are yourself, you don’t have time to put other woman down because, you are in your own lane. When you stay in you own lane you understand your value and encourage other woman because you understand that they are not a threat.

Thank YOU

Today I wanted to acknowledge anyone who has ever read or supported my blog.

I started my blog four years ago and I am happy to see how much it has grown over the years. Thank you all for your feedback and allowing me to be a voice for those who have struggled with the same issues I have faced. Dealing with issues from anxiety, depression, heartbreak and broken friendships, I was able to share my experiences with you and share how I got through it.

When I first created this blog it was called Words of the Unspoken which was designed to help me find my voice during a time when I was going through a lot. With Mocha Mag I plan to grow as a writer and reach more people.

Today, I discovered that I have reached 1000 followers and I had to let you all know that I couldn’t do it without you. In the future I plan to put out more content, time and energy into the success of this blog.I hope all of you are having an amazing day and look out for more content coming soon. If you every have any topic or experience you would like me to share in this blog don’t hesitate to ask.

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Making It through the Darkest Hour

The darkest hour has a way of exposing your pain.

The darkest hour knows how to make you look him in his face. The darkest hour separates the weak from the strong because he will either make you strong or tear you apart.

I made it past the darkest hour because I’m here today and so did you. But the funny thing about the darkest hour is that when you think you’ve met him sometimes he come back stronger and with a vengeance.

When you meet him again you have to be strong. We often find ourselves caving our pain inside and taking on the world with an artificial confidence. In order to be prepared for the darkest hour we have to let go of the pain from the past because healing builds strength. When you are able to walk away from a closed door with closure then you will be equipped to face whatever is in store in the next door.

When you have a better outlook on life it’s easier to get past challenges because you know that pain comes and go. With wisdom you can approach any obstacle with a warrior mentality. The warrior mentality is the mentality that you can conquer any obstacle that comes your way.

When the darkest hour comes know that an hour is only a spec in time and you can get through it.

5 Things We Wish We Were Taught Growing Up

  1. Independence:

This is one of the biggest issues that I’ve noticed as a college student among my peers. A lot of people become followers because they have no sense of direction. They’ve been sheltered and told what to do, their whole lives that they are more vulnerable to become followers. I had my first job at the age of 12 so I’ve always knew how to hold my own, but I realized that a lot of young adults struggle to stand alone. Teens must be taught how to own their individuality and have a strong sense of who they are. Nothing bothers me more to see a young adult with a high school mentality.

  1. Financial Stability:

When I first went away to college, I struggled budgeting my money. I found myself spending my money on things that I did not need. When I got a job while I was in college the issue became worst. I thought that it would be easier to budget if I had more money, but I had less money because I convinced myself that I needed things that I didn’t. Then when it came time for me to file my taxes I was lost. I was use to my mother doing all my paperwork that I didn’t even know where to start.

  1. Mental Awareness:

When I left for college I struggled with anxiety and stress because it was difficult for me to deal with the new environment. I was never homesick, but the stress of managing classes, fighting insecurities and dealing with friendships was enough for me to mentally shut down. Growing up we don’t realize how easy we have it until we leave the nest. Instead of trying to keep us in the nest I wish parents taught us how to survive outside of the nest mentally. I wish someone told me that every challenge is not the end of the world, but an obstacle that comes along to make you stronger.

  1. Confidence:

Confidence is something I had to build along the years, but not enough parents teach their children to love themselves. Neglecting this issue is like throwing your child out to the wolves and leaving them to fend for themselves. With media being a major influence on the development of children we have to plant a seed in their minds to give them a sense of direction. The media tell children that they must be a size two or have curves to die for, but what are you telling your child? We should be taught who we are when we are young, so we don’t have to find ourselves when we get older. I love when I see viral videos of parents making their child stand in the mirror and telling themselves how beautiful and valuable they are. Self-love starts when we are young because kids are like sponges.

  1. Be Original:

Growing up I wanted the latest brands and products to make myself feel important. We all begged our parents for the coolest trends just to go to school and look like everyone else. I wish I was taught that those things does not define me. I wish I would have focused more on building my character than I did focusing on getting things that I can’t afford to impress people who I may never even see again. I wish I was taught to love myself without those labels and stand firm and be confident in my own skin.

College Is Almost Over

My First Week of Spring Semester

Today I am proud to say I got through the first week of my last semester in college. For all the tears, internal anxiety attacks, panic attacks and all-nighters, I am happy to say that I am almost at the finish line.

But there is a catch. I have to keep it real with you guys so I have to let you know that I won’t officially get my degree until December. Unfortunately, I am a couple credits behind so I will be making them up online in the fall semester, but that’s fine with me. When you’re on your journey to success there will always be roadblocks and detours, but you are on the right track as long as you keep your eye on the finish line.

The week started off rough at first because I had to adjust to this Buffalo weather all over again. Besides getting bitten up by the mosquitos Florida’s weather was amazing so I am still adjusting to the cold. My first day of class was a drag, but could have been worst. Starbucks’s will be my best friend this semester because those morning classes were the worst. My second class was African American History and I was shocked at how boring the class was but I don’t need it to graduate so I dropped it.

The next day I missed my Media Law class because I didn’t feel good and usually would have panicked, but as a college senior you know that most professors don’t take attendance the first week of school. Most of us are either trying to get in or out of classes and I knew the professor so I didn’t stress it. When I got my energy up and took as much medicine as I could I went to my Philosophy of Love & Sex class. The class seemed interesting until a few people who I least expected to see joined the class. I won’t go into details, but let’s just say that class was a little awkward and luckily for me I didn’t need that class so I dropped that class too.

I know what you may be thinking. Why did I drop two classes? Well-being that I am finishing up classes in the fall, I need four classes in order to be a considered a full time student and I only had to make up one class, so if I dropped two classes, then that is three classes that I have set up for next semester and the other class I can just choose for the fun of it. Well, it won’t literally be fun, but you get where I am going with this.

So after that class I had my Communications and Society class. It was a little uncomfortable at first being that everyone seemed to be best friends and I didn’t know anyone. Well I did, but you know I don’t at the same time. It’s an introvert thing so don’t meditate on that thought too much. Anyways, the first class started off dry as the professor reads the syllabus, but the second class was actually interesting. I usually hate ice breakers but this time it actually worked.

Today I have no classes so I finished up work for an online class I am taking called Short Stories and my first week of this semester is complete.

The biggest challenge that I am facing now is dealing with the big question that all college students know about. What is next? College student dread this question because asking what’s next is like asking how Trump got into office. Some things we just don’t know and I am fine with that. As a planner, I’ve always been obsessed with what the future holds, but I actually enjoy the roller coaster of surprises and changes.

A year ago I would have told you that I will be an editor of Seventeen Magazine of even Essence but who knew I would learn to edit videos. Not only have I developed other skills, but I gain skills in areas that I love. This week was bittersweet. Over the winter break, I met the man of my dreams and I had the time of my life so I was not too thrilled about returning to cold Buffalo to finish the semester, but I’m a business woman first I’m here chasing my dreams so I know I’m good.

WHEN YOUR SICK AND TIRED OF BEING SICK AND TIRED

Yesterday I realized something was seriously wrong with me. My professor showed us a film he edited about the Holocaust. In the film, there was a scene where the Nazi officer pulled out his gun to kill a Jewish family. The family fell to their knees and begged for mercy and shot each of them but the little girl. While he slowly loaded the gun the little girl the little girl ran and he watched her for a moment then lifted his gun to shoot.

He eventually shot her and the first thing that came to mind was why it took so long for him to just shoot her. After catching myself in this sick thought I realized how much I have come numb to within the past few months. This has been my roughest semester yet and I have one more semester to go.

Lately I have been angry and stressed too often I come to the conclusion that something needs to change. My rage has become so bad that I get angry when someone looks at me for too long because I don’t have time to unwind and take a break from the challenges that I face in life. I lost my spark in the midst of stress and became a person that is not myself.

This is supposed to be the best year of my life because I am a few months away from getting my degree but it has been a complete nightmare. Today I am choosing to take back my joy. I need to make the best out of my situation. My first step is to follow my dreams. I hate my job so I am going to do something about it. I will put effort into finding one that makes me happy while I follow my dreams. Never settle somewhere where you are not happy. I will remain where I am until a better opportunity presents itself.

Then I am going to speak up. There are a few people in my life that I allow to do things that I am not in agreement with and I let it slide. I always distance, myself but this is not healthy. In order to see changes in your life you have to demand them. Avoiding the problem only pushes it back until you are ready to deal with it and you shouldn’t have to deal with it at all.

Finally I am going to be more optimistic. This will be the biggest challenge, but I am too young to not enjoy life. I am young enough to take risks and have time to correct them. I want to live life to the fullest and the more we push our happiness back we will never see it. For example when you are in middle school you love it your first year and your last year you think high school will be better. When you get to high school you think life will be better in college. When you’re in college you think life will be better when you graduate.

No matter where you are in life you have to power to create your own happiness. Tomorrow I will make the best out of my day at work and I will be positive despite my obstacles. I will update you guys on my progress and remember when you are sick and tired of being sick and tired things will start to change around you.