Saturday Inspiration: Beating Anxiety

Last night I reached my breaking point.

I am three weeks from graduating and it seems like everything is going wrong. Most students are nervous about graduating but, I am dreading each an every day here.

I’ve always noticed that anxiety always comes back when my stress levels are high and they have been higher than normal lately. I am doing research papers, preparing for finals, trying to rub two nickels together to get through the week and worst of all I feel alone.

I am away from people who I know care about me and it gets hard sometimes. The thing that stresses me out the most is not knowing who to trust.

When I woke up this morning I came across this YouTube video that lifted my spirit. This young lady’s story inspired me to keep going.

If you are going through depression or anxiety I think you should watch this video because it really helped me.

When it seems as if everything is wrong, sometimes you have to remind yourself who you are. It is none of your business what people think of you but, what truly matters is what you think about yourself.


The Real Reason Why Ladies Only Want Guy Friends

We all know that one girl that we can not stand.

The girl that sleeps with everyone’s man. The girl who is super loud in the morning for no reason. The girl who thinks she’s “all that” because she is Instagram famous when we all know she bought her followers. Or the girl that is always mad for no reason.

Well you know what, that girl is not the problem. Yes, I said it she is not the problem and here is why.

In society women are taught to hate one another from the times they are born. We are taught to compete with one another to be the best.

I use to be that girl who hated other girls because, I believed that other girls were the problem. A few days ago I came to the conclusion that I am a part of the problem. For me to hate another woman because of her faults would make me a hypocrite. We all have been that girl that we hate at one point in our  lives.

Someone once told me that we hate people because, we see something in them that we hate about ourselves. We complain that we can’t stand it when girls are shady then, brag when we throw shade as if we have that right. Everyone has looked at someone at-least one time in their life and mentally judged something about them. Shade has no gender, anyone can do that.

We have to change our minds and learn to love one another despite our flaws. We all have flaws and when we hate someone, we have to look in the mirror and ask ourselves why. Even though we are taught to compete with one another we can reverse that. Stop giving in to the ways of society and be yourself.

There is only one you. When you are yourself, you don’t have time to put other woman down because, you are in your own lane. When you stay in you own lane you understand your value and encourage other woman because you understand that they are not a threat.

Making It through the Darkest Hour

The darkest hour has a way of exposing your pain.

The darkest hour knows how to make you look him in his face. The darkest hour separates the weak from the strong because he will either make you strong or tear you apart.

I made it past the darkest hour because I’m here today and so did you. But the funny thing about the darkest hour is that when you think you’ve met him sometimes he come back stronger and with a vengeance.

When you meet him again you have to be strong. We often find ourselves caving our pain inside and taking on the world with an artificial confidence. In order to be prepared for the darkest hour we have to let go of the pain from the past because healing builds strength. When you are able to walk away from a closed door with closure then you will be equipped to face whatever is in store in the next door.

When you have a better outlook on life it’s easier to get past challenges because you know that pain comes and go. With wisdom you can approach any obstacle with a warrior mentality. The warrior mentality is the mentality that you can conquer any obstacle that comes your way.

When the darkest hour comes know that an hour is only a spec in time and you can get through it.

College Is Almost Over

My First Week of Spring Semester

Today I am proud to say I got through the first week of my last semester in college. For all the tears, internal anxiety attacks, panic attacks and all-nighters, I am happy to say that I am almost at the finish line.

But there is a catch. I have to keep it real with you guys so I have to let you know that I won’t officially get my degree until December. Unfortunately, I am a couple credits behind so I will be making them up online in the fall semester, but that’s fine with me. When you’re on your journey to success there will always be roadblocks and detours, but you are on the right track as long as you keep your eye on the finish line.

The week started off rough at first because I had to adjust to this Buffalo weather all over again. Besides getting bitten up by the mosquitos Florida’s weather was amazing so I am still adjusting to the cold. My first day of class was a drag, but could have been worst. Starbucks’s will be my best friend this semester because those morning classes were the worst. My second class was African American History and I was shocked at how boring the class was but I don’t need it to graduate so I dropped it.

The next day I missed my Media Law class because I didn’t feel good and usually would have panicked, but as a college senior you know that most professors don’t take attendance the first week of school. Most of us are either trying to get in or out of classes and I knew the professor so I didn’t stress it. When I got my energy up and took as much medicine as I could I went to my Philosophy of Love & Sex class. The class seemed interesting until a few people who I least expected to see joined the class. I won’t go into details, but let’s just say that class was a little awkward and luckily for me I didn’t need that class so I dropped that class too.

I know what you may be thinking. Why did I drop two classes? Well-being that I am finishing up classes in the fall, I need four classes in order to be a considered a full time student and I only had to make up one class, so if I dropped two classes, then that is three classes that I have set up for next semester and the other class I can just choose for the fun of it. Well, it won’t literally be fun, but you get where I am going with this.

So after that class I had my Communications and Society class. It was a little uncomfortable at first being that everyone seemed to be best friends and I didn’t know anyone. Well I did, but you know I don’t at the same time. It’s an introvert thing so don’t meditate on that thought too much. Anyways, the first class started off dry as the professor reads the syllabus, but the second class was actually interesting. I usually hate ice breakers but this time it actually worked.

Today I have no classes so I finished up work for an online class I am taking called Short Stories and my first week of this semester is complete.

The biggest challenge that I am facing now is dealing with the big question that all college students know about. What is next? College student dread this question because asking what’s next is like asking how Trump got into office. Some things we just don’t know and I am fine with that. As a planner, I’ve always been obsessed with what the future holds, but I actually enjoy the roller coaster of surprises and changes.

A year ago I would have told you that I will be an editor of Seventeen Magazine of even Essence but who knew I would learn to edit videos. Not only have I developed other skills, but I gain skills in areas that I love. This week was bittersweet. Over the winter break, I met the man of my dreams and I had the time of my life so I was not too thrilled about returning to cold Buffalo to finish the semester, but I’m a business woman first I’m here chasing my dreams so I know I’m good.

Standing Alone

Over the years I’ve learned that sometimes it is better to stand alone. Their are times when we crave companionship and relations, but at what cost are we willing to pay for it? Time and time, again I’ve found myself surrounded by  people who do not contribute anything positive to my life around me.

In the past I talked to people for the sake of being bored or feeling alone until I realized that I felt lonelier around people who did not fulfill any purpose. Often times I may come off as reserved because I am very selective with who I allow into my life, but you can’t be afraid to expect more from people.

A friend of mine once told me that he stopped caring when people treated him bad because he stop expecting much from people but this can be a bad thing. Lowering your expectations, limits your quality of life. Imagine how life would be if everyone who you allowed was on your team?

We will never experience this true satisfaction if we are not cautious of who we allow in our inner circle. Some people use people for what they need and keep it moving. For instance, in high school, I had friends that served different purposed. This is not a terrible thing but how would you feel if someone only wanted to be your friend to fulfill one thing.

What if someone hung out with you when their other friends were not available. I never did this exactly, but I’ve been in situations where I was that friend that tagged along so someone wouldn’t be alone. This is the worst time of friendship because it showed that you are not valued for who you are.

One red flag that someone is not your friend is if you have never had a serious or deep conversation with them or if you feel uncomfortable sharing your life with them. Life is to short too hold on to people that has no value in your life.

When I was at work yesterday I noticed that a few ladies around my age where socializing on on their lunch break when I walked in. I consider myself selectively social so I stood back and observed their behavior. I noticed that they were very unapproachable and closed off to others who were outside of the group. I didn’t take it personal because observing people’s behavior is my way of dissecting who someone truly is.

When they were alone and outside of the group I noticed that they were more open to get to know me and took the initiative to reach out which disturbed me a little. It bothered me how much people are willing to do to feel socially validated.

When they were together no one had any interest in getting to know who I was or anyone else when they validated one another but, when they were alone, their approach changed. When they approached me individually when I had to work with them, I did not value their company because I didn’t see it as genuine.

I am not telling you to shut the world out, but know the difference between someone who is there to fill up time and someone who will not just fill that time but, help you elevate. Until you recognize who those people are don’t be afraid to stand alone.