I Wasn’t One of Them

I never thought that it would affect me.

When I first came to Buffalo, NY, I would vaguely hear about its history of division and discrimination.

Most of my peers on campus were from the New York City area so I never felt like I was far away from home. Even though cases of discrimination goes on in Long Island, people are a little more liberal, so I never felt threatened by anyone from another race.

One day I learned that being a minority in Buffalo has its adversity. I applied for a retail position at the Galleria Mall and I was excited because, I was confident that I would get the job.

I ironed by best attire and headed to the interview with high hopes. I prayed before I walked into the store and noticed that there was a lady who appeared to be the manager waiting by the registrar.

She walked me to the office so we could start the interview.  She started asking me questions about school and telling me about her experience working in New York City and the cool people she met. It was kind of weird that she talked about herself a lot but, I didn’t mind.

Then she started to get a little more personal. She began to ask me about my family. I was hesitant to answer but, I answered the questions anyways.

“Do you have a father?”

“What about a mom?”

“Did you all grow up together?”

“Why wasn’t your father around?”

At this point I grew uncomfortable so I tried to change the subject. I asked her if she wanted to see my resume so I could talk more about my credential but, she declined my offer.

She said that she wanted to know more about me. She then asked me if I had an internship. When I told her no she suggested that I focus on that rather than apply for the job. A part of me thought that she was genuinely concerned until she started talking comparing her life decisions to mine bragging about her days working in New York and what she accomplished in the past.

At this point I knew that this interview was a disaster and I was sure that I would not get the job. A part of me wanted to tell her that I thought that she was out of line and that her questions were unprofessional but, I stuck it out.

She started asking me questions about when the store was founded and how it began. I felt ashamed that I didn’t know the answer until I realized that she didn’t know the answer either. She pulled up the company’s website and read the answers to her questions off of the computer screen.

After a long 20 minutes of being interrogated she told me that she didn’t think that I was a good fit for the company. I walked out of the interview feeling inferior and did not make eye contact with the employees whose eyes were glued to me when I walked out.

I knew deep down I wasn’t going to get the job from the moment I stepped into the store because I didn’t see anyone who looked like me. I stuck through it and hoped for the best despite my intuition.

Maybe I can be the one that adds diversity here. Maybe I can be that person who can close that gap, I thought to myself but, the reality is, we have a long way to go. I was qualified for the job, I talked well, and I was prepared but, that wasn’t enough.

I wasn’t one of them.

If you ever experience employment discrimination of any kind you can contact the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission for more information.

To share your story you can contact me on Facebook or Twitter.

 

I Tried The Natural Sugar Wax

I always wanted to try waxing but I was always skeptical waxing salons. When I heard about Natural Sugar Waxing you know I had to try it. I did my research and it sound pretty promising so I was up for the challenge. Sugar Waxing is less painful and has all natural ingredients.

In order to make the sugar wax you will need:

  1. Lemon Juice
  2. Sugar
  3. A pot
  4. A place to store the wax

Ultimately this method was a fail but if you learn from my mistakes this could work for you.

For the video check it out on Youtube.

To Be Or Not To Be… Beauty Is The Question

 

What makes a person beautiful? Does a twenty inch weave or a perfectly beat face qualify me to be beautiful. Lately I have been dealing with an internal conflict with my idea of what makes me beautiful.

Someone recently told me that I was beautiful and I shrugged it off telling that I had the potential to look better. I would brag about how in high school my hair was always on point. My hair was always laid with a perm and when I decided to go natural I would hide my kinky hair under a weave.

I realized that my idea of beauty was not defined by makeup nor my clothes. I became obsessed with beauty in a way where I measured it by the style of my hair. Most of the time I wear a kinky textured faux bun to resemble natural hair because I am not happy with the length of my hair. Although it has grown over the past two years since i did the big chop, my hair has suffered from years of heat damage and breakage trying to blend my natural hair with weaves and not properly moisturizing my hair because I cake it up with gel the lay my edges down in a bun.

This summer I may end up having to cut my hair again but this time I am deciding to wear it out in its natural state. I am nervous about this but it is time to learn to love myself for all of me.