College Is Almost Over

My First Week of Spring Semester

Today I am proud to say I got through the first week of my last semester in college. For all the tears, internal anxiety attacks, panic attacks and all-nighters, I am happy to say that I am almost at the finish line.

But there is a catch. I have to keep it real with you guys so I have to let you know that I won’t officially get my degree until December. Unfortunately, I am a couple credits behind so I will be making them up online in the fall semester, but that’s fine with me. When you’re on your journey to success there will always be roadblocks and detours, but you are on the right track as long as you keep your eye on the finish line.

The week started off rough at first because I had to adjust to this Buffalo weather all over again. Besides getting bitten up by the mosquitos Florida’s weather was amazing so I am still adjusting to the cold. My first day of class was a drag, but could have been worst. Starbucks’s will be my best friend this semester because those morning classes were the worst. My second class was African American History and I was shocked at how boring the class was but I don’t need it to graduate so I dropped it.

The next day I missed my Media Law class because I didn’t feel good and usually would have panicked, but as a college senior you know that most professors don’t take attendance the first week of school. Most of us are either trying to get in or out of classes and I knew the professor so I didn’t stress it. When I got my energy up and took as much medicine as I could I went to my Philosophy of Love & Sex class. The class seemed interesting until a few people who I least expected to see joined the class. I won’t go into details, but let’s just say that class was a little awkward and luckily for me I didn’t need that class so I dropped that class too.

I know what you may be thinking. Why did I drop two classes? Well-being that I am finishing up classes in the fall, I need four classes in order to be a considered a full time student and I only had to make up one class, so if I dropped two classes, then that is three classes that I have set up for next semester and the other class I can just choose for the fun of it. Well, it won’t literally be fun, but you get where I am going with this.

So after that class I had my Communications and Society class. It was a little uncomfortable at first being that everyone seemed to be best friends and I didn’t know anyone. Well I did, but you know I don’t at the same time. It’s an introvert thing so don’t meditate on that thought too much. Anyways, the first class started off dry as the professor reads the syllabus, but the second class was actually interesting. I usually hate ice breakers but this time it actually worked.

Today I have no classes so I finished up work for an online class I am taking called Short Stories and my first week of this semester is complete.

The biggest challenge that I am facing now is dealing with the big question that all college students know about. What is next? College student dread this question because asking what’s next is like asking how Trump got into office. Some things we just don’t know and I am fine with that. As a planner, I’ve always been obsessed with what the future holds, but I actually enjoy the roller coaster of surprises and changes.

A year ago I would have told you that I will be an editor of Seventeen Magazine of even Essence but who knew I would learn to edit videos. Not only have I developed other skills, but I gain skills in areas that I love. This week was bittersweet. Over the winter break, I met the man of my dreams and I had the time of my life so I was not too thrilled about returning to cold Buffalo to finish the semester, but I’m a business woman first I’m here chasing my dreams so I know I’m good.

I Tried The Natural Sugar Wax

I always wanted to try waxing but I was always skeptical waxing salons. When I heard about Natural Sugar Waxing you know I had to try it. I did my research and it sound pretty promising so I was up for the challenge. Sugar Waxing is less painful and has all natural ingredients.

In order to make the sugar wax you will need:

  1. Lemon Juice
  2. Sugar
  3. A pot
  4. A place to store the wax

Ultimately this method was a fail but if you learn from my mistakes this could work for you.

For the video check it out on Youtube.

Standing Alone

Over the years I’ve learned that sometimes it is better to stand alone. Their are times when we crave companionship and relations, but at what cost are we willing to pay for it? Time and time, again I’ve found myself surrounded by  people who do not contribute anything positive to my life around me.

In the past I talked to people for the sake of being bored or feeling alone until I realized that I felt lonelier around people who did not fulfill any purpose. Often times I may come off as reserved because I am very selective with who I allow into my life, but you can’t be afraid to expect more from people.

A friend of mine once told me that he stopped caring when people treated him bad because he stop expecting much from people but this can be a bad thing. Lowering your expectations, limits your quality of life. Imagine how life would be if everyone who you allowed was on your team?

We will never experience this true satisfaction if we are not cautious of who we allow in our inner circle. Some people use people for what they need and keep it moving. For instance, in high school, I had friends that served different purposed. This is not a terrible thing but how would you feel if someone only wanted to be your friend to fulfill one thing.

What if someone hung out with you when their other friends were not available. I never did this exactly, but I’ve been in situations where I was that friend that tagged along so someone wouldn’t be alone. This is the worst time of friendship because it showed that you are not valued for who you are.

One red flag that someone is not your friend is if you have never had a serious or deep conversation with them or if you feel uncomfortable sharing your life with them. Life is to short too hold on to people that has no value in your life.

When I was at work yesterday I noticed that a few ladies around my age where socializing on on their lunch break when I walked in. I consider myself selectively social so I stood back and observed their behavior. I noticed that they were very unapproachable and closed off to others who were outside of the group. I didn’t take it personal because observing people’s behavior is my way of dissecting who someone truly is.

When they were alone and outside of the group I noticed that they were more open to get to know me and took the initiative to reach out which disturbed me a little. It bothered me how much people are willing to do to feel socially validated.

When they were together no one had any interest in getting to know who I was or anyone else when they validated one another but, when they were alone, their approach changed. When they approached me individually when I had to work with them, I did not value their company because I didn’t see it as genuine.

I am not telling you to shut the world out, but know the difference between someone who is there to fill up time and someone who will not just fill that time but, help you elevate. Until you recognize who those people are don’t be afraid to stand alone.

WHEN YOUR SICK AND TIRED OF BEING SICK AND TIRED

Yesterday I realized something was seriously wrong with me. My professor showed us a film he edited about the Holocaust. In the film, there was a scene where the Nazi officer pulled out his gun to kill a Jewish family. The family fell to their knees and begged for mercy and shot each of them but the little girl. While he slowly loaded the gun the little girl the little girl ran and he watched her for a moment then lifted his gun to shoot.

He eventually shot her and the first thing that came to mind was why it took so long for him to just shoot her. After catching myself in this sick thought I realized how much I have come numb to within the past few months. This has been my roughest semester yet and I have one more semester to go.

Lately I have been angry and stressed too often I come to the conclusion that something needs to change. My rage has become so bad that I get angry when someone looks at me for too long because I don’t have time to unwind and take a break from the challenges that I face in life. I lost my spark in the midst of stress and became a person that is not myself.

This is supposed to be the best year of my life because I am a few months away from getting my degree but it has been a complete nightmare. Today I am choosing to take back my joy. I need to make the best out of my situation. My first step is to follow my dreams. I hate my job so I am going to do something about it. I will put effort into finding one that makes me happy while I follow my dreams. Never settle somewhere where you are not happy. I will remain where I am until a better opportunity presents itself.

Then I am going to speak up. There are a few people in my life that I allow to do things that I am not in agreement with and I let it slide. I always distance, myself but this is not healthy. In order to see changes in your life you have to demand them. Avoiding the problem only pushes it back until you are ready to deal with it and you shouldn’t have to deal with it at all.

Finally I am going to be more optimistic. This will be the biggest challenge, but I am too young to not enjoy life. I am young enough to take risks and have time to correct them. I want to live life to the fullest and the more we push our happiness back we will never see it. For example when you are in middle school you love it your first year and your last year you think high school will be better. When you get to high school you think life will be better in college. When you’re in college you think life will be better when you graduate.

No matter where you are in life you have to power to create your own happiness. Tomorrow I will make the best out of my day at work and I will be positive despite my obstacles. I will update you guys on my progress and remember when you are sick and tired of being sick and tired things will start to change around you.

The Day Trump Exposed America

The moment I found out that Trump won a part of me felt like it died inside. It took a day for me to realize that I was not dreaming. I knew this was going to happen, but I was hoping America proved me wrong. I sat in my dark room speechless feeling as if I was mourning the loss of a loved one. At this point the election hit me hard. I never realized how deep it was until Trump won.

I would make jokes about how we would be doomed either way, but at that moment I knew that I was wrong. I voted because it was my first time and I was excited to be a part of history, but I was never passionate or fully invested into politics like that.

On social media I saw a flood of mixed emotions and all I could think is how we came to this point. I must say I do not hate Trump or Hillary, but I am disgusted by the ignorance of many American people. When did we go back so far to the point where people can openly spread hate toward one another? What gives someone the courage to say in God we trust and hurt their neighbor?

This election made me wake up and realize that we can’t wait for a politician to save us. When Obama became president many minorities felt like he was our savior but he wasn’t. Obama was a representation of what we are capable of and living proof anything is possible.

Those who are angry about Trump do not be discouraged. We have come a long way from where we were many years ago and we will continue to prosper. At first I thought Trumps win could be the worst thing for America but it woke us up.

Throughout the election I’ve seen a lot of people post racist things and was angered by it, but after putting it into perspective I am glad that this was exposed. Two years ago I heard a man say the problem with race is that we keep talking about it. He then said if minorities would just see themselves as American that it would bring us together. Trump’s win proved his statement wrong. For those who believed that racism is no longer exist and that minorities are just angry, I am glad that they got a chance to see America exposed.

Don’t get me wrong I love this country, but our citizens must do better. How can minorities only see themselves as American when you have people openly telling them that they aren’t wanted?

Donald Trump puts a mirror to our faces and forced us to deal with the pain and hurt from our ancestors that are still deeply rooted in the fabric of our country.

Hopefully we can use this opportunity to face our ugly reality that America has never been great.

Something Bigger Than Yourself

 

“The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.”                                -Mahatma Gandhi

Gandhi could not have said it any better. There are so many times when we focus on ourselves to find ourselves. Your true character is built when you impact the lives of others. I use to always think that I could find myself and perfect it then I could take on the world. After numerous attempts, I am living proof that this will never work.

For the past few days, I have felt very empty. As a college student, I have not been involved in anything, leading me to feel like I was living without a purpose. I watch other people who are passionate about groups and causes that they are a part of and I ask myself what’s stopping me.

There is something powerful about someone that can be a part of something bigger than themselves. I’ve made excuses so many times as to why I can’t do something and end up regretting my decisions over and over.

When I watched this video about the 15 year old kid who took on the government for a cause that he was passionate for I was inspired. Most adults don’t even have the courage to take on a cause the way this young man did.

I would like to challenge you and myself to take on something that matters to you. Whether you are the leader or just a part of a group that works toward a cause that you are passionate about. Sometimes we become so comfortable that we miss out on opportunities that has the power to impact the world.

Check out the video on Vice.

5 Ways To Let Go

Is there something on your mind and it seems that you just can’t let go?

It is time to get yourself out of the center. We only hurt because we are focused on ourselves. Just think about it? When someone says something offensive to you what is your first reaction? We are more concerned with how people treat us than how we treat other people. When you are more concerned with how people treat you then how you treat them you become vulnerable. You give power to that person and you will only hurt yourself.

I know it’s not easy to let go so I came up with a list of 5 Rules to help you let go of whatever is holding you back:

Rules to letting go

  1. Never fight thoughts with thought: When you fight thoughts with thoughts you will only create more thoughts that will bring you back to the same thought that bothered you in the first place. The power comes in speaking over your situation. We can’t allow things to hurt us that has nothing to do with us. Life is bigger than yourself so everything is not a direct threat to you.
  2. Focus on something that will help you: A way that I redirect my focus is by focusing on something that actually makes me happy. If you are hurt over something that someone did to you then do something that you love. Put your time and energy into something that makes you happy and you won’t have time to worry about what someone did.
  3. Don’t feel sorry for yourself: This is a big problem that I see all the time. People love to be the victim and feel bad for themselves. We get so caught up with blaming the person who hurt us. When we do this we fail to realize that the person who hurt us is probably moving on with their lives. Take it as a lesson learned and grow from it.
  4. Guard what you are exposed to: The Philosophies that we are exposed to will determine how we will perceive our situation. Whether it is Facebook, Instagram, or even the people we are around you can find yourself adopting the wrong philosophies. I had to catch myself sometimes because I would watch funny videos a lot because it was entertaining, but then I would find myself adopting some of their ideas and philosophies.
  5. Be persistent: Lastly, don’t give up. Practice makes perfect. The more you realize that everything is not about you it will be easier not to be so easily offended. Continue to focus on the things that makes you happy and don’t entertain anything that will hurt you.