Is It Okay For Your Partner To Have Friends Of The Opposite Sex?

If you asked me this question a few years ago I probably would of said yes, but after the things I’ve been through, I don’t know anymore.

In a perfect world, we would love to believe that our partners are always going to be loyal to us and respect our boundaries, but unfortunately this is not the type of world that we live in.

Some people argue that you should be secure in your relationship, but what happens when boundaries are crossed. A man’s biggest fear is to imagine another man getting a piece of his woman that’s only for him. A woman’s biggest fear is for her man to open up and create a bond with another woman that she should only have. 

I’ve been in many situations before, where the person I dated had female friends. One guy in particular was friends with a woman that he had a sexual history with.

This made me feel very uncomfortable, because in my mind, if they did it before they could do this again. They had a very strong connection and I didn’t want to put myself in the position to get hurt.

Then, I’ve been in a situation where I dated a guy who assured me that a woman was just a friend. I had suspicions that something more was going on and he assured me that I was just being insecure.

I knew something was off so I left him and as soon as we broke up, the woman he assured me was just a friend was his new girl. This is exactly why I always have to question the idea of my man having a friend of the opposite sex.

The only way that I think that I can accept it is if I was included in the friendship. When your partner separates their friendship from their relationship this only makes things worst. If I knew the woman and got to know her for myself, I would feel comfortable.

I’ve had guy friends whose gotten into relationships and I’ve always been able to maintain a good friendship with them because I knew my boundaries. I wouldn’t call them consistently or sometimes at all. I would check in once in a blue moon and make sure I acknowledge their partner out of respect.

Men Having Women Friends

When it comes to men having women friends, I believe that a lot of guys are oblivious to things that may seem like common sense to women. For instance, some men may be genuinely loyal to his woman but he may be oblivious to the fact that one of his female friends see him as more than a friend. You cannot be friends with a woman that sees you as more than a friend to her because this is a form of candy coated disrespect. 

By allowing her to have access to you in any way is a form of disrespect to your relationship whether you condone your friend’s behavior or not.

That’s like a man flirting with your girlfriend. How would you feel if she dismissed the issue because she said she didn’t feel the same. A man would probably lose his mind.

I’m not saying men shouldn’t have female friends in a relationship but if she can’t respect his relationship then you shouldn’t be friends with her. Many men mess up by being secretive and private which only makes the situation only worst.

Women Having Male Friends

I don’t care if you are the type of woman that only gets along with guys because all women are messy, like some of you love to say, you should not have a whole bunch of male friends in a relationship. 

As a female, most of our male friends are there because they’ve been friend zoned so you would be lying if you said that you didn’t know that they were attracted to you in some way.

This is the same case for men. The only difference is that men usually don’t realize when a woman is in the friend zone because most women don’t put themselves in the position to be rejected. They take clues and pay attention to body language so they usually lay low if they feel like a man is not interested.

Men are usually more aggressive so most women know when a man is in the friend zone because at some point they let a woman know if their interested unless they are some master players and come with a really good strategy. In most cases, that strategy is to wait for your man to mess up and come to the rescue like some low down woman do as well.

Stop Using The Excuse That You Need Advice 

To all the ladies and men who go to their friend from another sex for relationship advice, grow up.

If you really need help understanding someone from another sex, go to the church or the psychologist. Stop going to your friends from the other sex because you are putting your relationship at risk. First of all, another female should not know you relationship business. 

Another woman should ever be able to look at your woman and know something about her that your woman doesn’t know she knows and this goes for men too.

Ladies, stop asking your guy friends to help you understand your man. If you don’t understand your man ask him or a professional.

Your guy friends cannot help you. They can only give you their bias opinion and this goes for guys with female friends too. No one is the same so stop depending on flawed and bias human beings to speak on your personal relationships.

So to answer your question.

Do I think that your partner should be able to have friends from the opposite sex?

Only if you are comfortable with their friend.