A few days one of my coworkers asked me for advice.
She told me that her best friend’s boyfriend would flirt with her and told her that he wanted her and not her friend. She wanted to know if she should tell her best friend or leave it alone and plead with her best friend’s boyfriend to treat her right.
Well I told her that the answer is simple. Yes.
If your friends man ever hits on you, it is your job as a friend to first block the opportunity for her man to have access to you in any way whatsoever and to warn your friend if her man has betrayed her.
Personally, I have a code that I go by when it comes to dealing with my friends boyfriends.
Code 1: Don’t contact your friend’s boyfriend or allow them to contact you when you are not in the presence of him and your friend. I don’t care if you knew him before her or if you guys were all friends together. You never want to put yourself in the position where you could possibly be in the middle of anything. Respect their relationship by giving them privacy and space and show that relationship respect.
Code 2: Never entertain conversations about your friend to their partner. I don’t care if they ask you for relationship advice or to help them out with a problem. Stay out of it because everyone always kills the messenger. If her man contacts you keep it short and simple and end the conversation as soon as possible.
Code 3: You should never take your friend boyfriend’s number and be careful with social media.
Most girls are crazy about their man and the last thing you want to do is piss off a crazy person.
If you do happen to have his number because she used his phone to call you or your phone to call him don’t use it. Consider it an emergency number that you use if you can’t reach her and your house is on fire or something extreme.
If she’s not answering her phone, she is probably with him and the last thing you need is for your name to pop up on his phone when she is around because it’s not a good look. Some girls always think someone wants their man, even if he has nothing to offer.
Code 4: If you find your friend’s man attractive then you are Ray Charles around him. You don’t see him and if you can’t stop admiring him, then you need to pray that lust away because most women know when a woman likes their man.
So if he is attractive to you, be respectful and know your boundaries because if he is attractive to you to and pushes up on you then she definitely won’t believe you even if he initiated it. If he’s as fine as you think he is, she will choose him over you in a heart beat.
So if you follow these codes, you will be on the right track to living a drama free life and avoiding getting in between your friend’s relationship.
I had a friend who told me that his friend’s girlfriend was hot and they would text occasionally. His friend would make shady jokes about how close my friend was with his girlfriend and I told him to separate himself from them as soon as possible. I told him not to hangout with them together.
Situations like this never ends well and I told him that if he cherished his friendship he would cut his friend’s girlfriend off completely. He then said he would but, if he was ever to lose the friendship and they were to break up that he would sleep with her.
Don’t be this kind of friend. As a matter of fact, if you feel like this about your friend then you are not really their friend. So if you are a real person and have an ounce of integrity, then leave the person alone. You should never be friends with someone if you don’t have any loyalty to them.
In friendships, loyalty is everything. So if you can’t be loyal to your friend then you shouldn’t be their friend in the first place.
Now on the other hand, if someone that you don’t know man is hitting on you then you do not have to tell them.
I repeat myself, you do not have to tell them and here is why.
First of all, no one ever believes strangers. I rarely see women who listen to women that they don’t know, listen to women that tell them what their man is doing behind their back. The best thing for you to do is to ignore him.
If you just discovered that he has a woman after a period of talking to him, then let him know that you found out and cut contact with him as soon as possible.
Its good to text him, letting him know that you know so you have receipts. That is the beautiful thing about texting. He could never say that you talked to him knowing that he had a woman.
I’ve been in a few situations where a guy who had a girl tried to talk to me. If I knew he had a girl before hand, I would ignore him and not respond and if I didn’t I cut him off as soon as I found out.
Once I dated a guy who told me that he had a crazy ex. Whenever someone says that run as fast as you can. “Crazy ex,” is translation for we are on and off, but she thinks we are together, which we are just not right now so she would be mad if she know I was talking to you. When ever he says he has a crazy ex that is still in the picture, she is in the picture for a reason. He wants his cake and he wants too eat it to, so don’t fall for this.
I found out he had a girl because he would go outside to talk on the phone to her. When I asked him what was going on he told me that he was arguing with her mom and more drama. He assured me that they were done and after four days of ghosting me I assumed he was with her. Cheaters do that often.
They would go mend things with the main girl to get her in check and then come back to you to make sure you are still in your place. Then I found his other Instagram account and he had pictures of her all over it.
If a man has multiple account, he is a cheater, trust me. To make a long story straight I blocked him and that was it. Do I regret not telling her? No I don’t, he was a serial cheater so I’m pretty sure she knew and from what I heard they cheated on each other so that is not my problem. The only thing that matters it that I took myself out of the equation.
So if someone’s man is checking for you, you do not have to tell them unless they are your friend. If you choose to be the “bigger person,” and tell her, good luck with that.