Should You Tell Your Partner Your Body Count?

How many bodies are too much?

Most women don’t know so we try to keep our count down by dealing with the same person who we know we do not need to be with or we subtract the guys who we don’t want to count.

I’ve had many guy friends tell me a variety of answers. Some of them say they don’t care, others say it should be below 4 or 6 and some say a woman should at least be able to count the number of men that she’s had sex with on two hands.

Lately I’ve had a female friend’s tell me that they’ve lied about how many sexual partners they’ve had an as ridiculous as this is I understand why.

Many women have the impression that having less sexual partners makes them more desirable or more likely to be looked at as wife material.

When it comes to body count, their is no surprise that their are double standards when it comes to how many sexual partners a woman should have verses a man.

It is not often that you see men being shamed for sleeping with too many women.

How Many Sexual Partners Are Too Much

This is a question that I have been wondering for years?

Growing up a lot of us are taught that as women you are supposed to cherish your body and be very selective of who has access to it. Since times have changed, more women are challenging this idea and are demanding gender equality.


Sex has always been advertised as something that is geared toward pleasure for a man. Women have been seen as an objects designed to please a man but today they are slowly changing that narrative and focusing on their own pleasure and I love it.

I think more women should embrace their sexuality in a way where they are in full control of their own pleasure.

So when it comes to body count should it matter how many bodies a woman has?

No, It shouldn’t. The only thing that should matter is someone’s health status. That should be everyone’s main concern.

You should be asking when was the last time you got tested because health has no body count. Having a partner that had twenty partners with protected sex is way more attractive than having a sexual partner with five bodies with unprotected sex.


Whether you’ve had two or eighteen sexual partners that is your business. I don’t think women should lie about the sexual partners that they’ve had because there is nothing to be ashamed of.

So how many sexual partners are too much?
In the words of a close friend of mine, “whose counting?”

Should You Tell Him How Many Sexual Partners You Have

If a man ask you how many sexual partners have you had, you do not have to answer it and if he asks, this says a lot about his level of maturity.

A real man won’t even ask you that question because he will judge you based off your character and he won’t hold your past against you. A real man is confident enough in himself that past men won’t intimidate him because he knows who he is and is content with himself.

The reason why many men ask women this question has a lot to do with their own insecurities. When you tell a man that you’ve had many sexual partners, in his mind he is wondering can he compete.

Men like to be in control and if he cannot measure up to the men in your past, this can lead to insecurity. So some men try to shame women into believing that her value goes down if she has more sexual partners.

Some men claim that women have sex for emotional reasons so  they can’t comprehend the thought of a woman sleeping with a lot of men. This idea is out of pure ignorance and men should know that women are just as sexual as they are and in some cases more. We are just taught to keep it behind closed door and are shamed for being open about it.

Just Another Number On The List 

No one wants to feel like just another number. This is a fair reason to feel a type of way about your partner having a high body count.

A few years ago I ask a guy that I was dating what was his body count. When he told me the number I was instantly turned off by it because it was so large. In my mind I felt like if I decided to be active with him then I would only be another number on his list and yes he had an actual list of every girl he ever slept with.


With maturity I realized that everyone changes and has their own journey. Yes, there are cons that come with dealing with a person that has more sexual experience than you but don’t allow someone’s past to intimidate you.

Anyone can have sex but not everyone makes love so if you get the opportunity to do that with someone special then the number shouldn’t matter.

Now that I am more mature I don’t ask guys what their body count is and I don’t expect them to ask me what mine is either. To be honest with you I don’t want to know because we all are guilty of judging others to some degree.

To All The Guys That Want To Know

If a guy is so concerned with how many guys you’ve had sex with in the past then he is not the man for you. This question is very immature and if a man feels that your value is based on what you did in your past then you don’t need him.

Nothing is wrong with being open and honest with someone that you are interested in but body count is one of those things that is your personal business.200wQXNF8J4J

One thing you should let a guy know is if you’ve been with someone in his circle which I don’t recommend what so ever. Try to avoid dating someone that has any relationship with someone that you’ve been with in the past because this can lead a man to feel intimidated or embarrassed.

This is the only time your sexual past matters. Dating friends and family of an ex is absolutely off limits. I know the world can seem  small at times but this can only lead to problems.

I Don’t Want To Share You

This is the most hypocritical thing that men say when they say body count matters. The reason why I say this because a man can know two of her past partners and feel like he is sharing her and a women can know five of the women and not care.

This is exactly why I feel like men are more jealous than women. As women we may not like the idea of knowing someone that you’ve been with in the past but we would look past it a know that we are here now. A man would feel less of a man and shame the woman for who she was with in the past.

Once I dated a guy whose exes I saw on a daily basis and it was a bit much. I left the situation because I knew he wasn’t faithful and I didn’t want to look stupid. Most men won’t date a woman if he knows a man that she has been with and if he does he won’t wife her. This is ridiculous because a woman’s past does not define her.

So to all of my ladies out there. Love yourself, be true to who you are don’t let these men define you. When a man ask you how many bodies you have tell him that it’s none of his business even if you only have two.


  1. Love the points you made here! Your body count is *yours* – if you feel like sharing it, you should be empowered to do so. But whoever you share it with does not have permission to repeat it to someone else and if they judge you for it, then they’re not the person for you!

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