Nowadays no one wants to be in a relationship, but everyone wants relations.
Since when has it been cool to praise cheating and polygamy? Everyone wants a side piece or multiple partners and there is no shame anymore in having multiple relations without a commitment.
It seems like everyone and their mama are in the talking phase and no one takes relationships serious anymore.
The purpose of the talking phase was meant to get to know someone and see where the relationship was headed but, lately I’ve noticed that some people can’t seem to get past the talking phase.
When you are talking to someone there are a few signs that you should look out for that will tell you if he sees a future with you or just wasting your time.
He Doesn’t Make Time For You
If you’ve been talking for over a month and still haven’t went on a date after suggesting your interest in going on one then maybe you should keep your options open.
When a person shows interest in you they want to see you, be around you and they will make time to get to know you. If not, then maybe they’re not be that interested.
Yes everyone has super busy lives and a lot going on but, people make time for the things they care about. If he can make time to chill with his boys or watch a game then there is no excuse why he can’t take you on a date.
Recently, A guy told me that he doesn’t take women on dates because he doesn’t want to spend his money on a woman because a lot of women use guys for free meals and free outing. Now, even though there is truth to this statement because I’ve seen it many times, that still doesn’t give him a pass.
As a man, you should know the difference by the way the woman carries herself and moves so that lame excuse won’t cut it. If you want to show a woman you’re interested, you have to make her a priority.
You Don’t Have A Clear Idea Of Where You Stand
If you don’t know where you stand in a mans life after a period of talking then it is time for you to exit left. Whether you are in a relationship or not, you should know where the relationship is headed.
If your partner can’t tell you where it’s headed, that’s because it’s headed nowhere.
Some men like to have their cake and eat it too. They aren’t sure if you are the one so they will keep you at a distance, but close enough to have access to you while they do them.
You do not want to be in this position because you are only selling yourself short. I am tired of people dating with no purpose. There are too many people who are getting with people because they are bored and lonely and that is a waste of time.
If you aren’t ready for a relationship or don’t see your relationship going anywhere then move on. I use to date a guy who wasn’t good for me and I would tell myself that he was Mr. Right now. I believe that you could occupy your time with the wrong person until the right person comes along but with maturity I realized how dumb this was.
What if you missed to opportunity to be with Mr. Right because you was busy with Mr. Wrong. Follow your dreams, building your character and be the women that you’ve always dreamed of and the right man will come along, when it’s time.
When you waste your time with the wrong people you are only building more baggage. Give yourself time to heal, grow and transform into the woman you need to be.
You Don’t Trust The Person
I don’t believe in building trust in the talking phase. The only time that it is necessary to build trust is when the trust has been broken. In the beginning I believe in giving people a clean slate.
That means your trust goes solely off of their actions and what they show you. So if you can’t trust the person after they haven’t given you a reason not to then you shouldn’t be talking to them in the first place. You need to take some time alone and give yourself time to heal. No one likes it when people bring baggage to a relationship.
If you are bitter or resentful of things that may have happened to you then give yourself time to heal. On the other hand, if someone is showing you signs of betrayal and disloyalty in the beginning, then it is time for you to move on.
It’s Not Going Anywhere
I am tired of people talking with no intentions for the relationship to go anywhere. This is a waste of time and energy. There are too many people talking to people because they are bored, lonely or fill a void. If this applies to you then you need to improve your life.
If you are that bored then you don’t have enough going for yourself.
Instead of wasting your free time chasing a meaningless relationship chase your dreams, achieve some goals or work on yourself. Do something that will improve your life and live life to the fullest.
If you are talking to someone because you are lonely, challenge yourself to enjoy your own company. True self-love is when you are content alone. Be your own best friend, take yourself out to a spa and treat yourself the way you want someone to treat you.
We can be our own worst enemies at times so change that. If you want a connection with someone, then find a hobby or cause you’re passionate about and go volunteer.
There are always positive ways to be productive without wasting your time and someone else’s. Every relationship should have a purpose and if it doesn’t then you don’t need it.
You Are Their Second Choice
You should never be anyone’s second choice. If someone has to choose between you and someone else, then don’t let them choose you. You are worth more than this.
You don’t have to ever compete with someone for your spot because your spot is yours and no one can take it from you. If a spot is not solidified for you then it is not your spot period.
This is common in the talking phase because a lot of people are usually talking to different people during this time because there is no solid commitment. I use to accept this and tell the man to let me know when he decides but I was selling myself short.
Don’t ever give a man your time if you are an option. Take yourself out of the equation and don’t settle for a man like that. The man for you will be the one who knows what he wants and only has eyes for you. By waiting for a man you are only hurting yourself.
Remember, a queen never competes for her thrown so act as such and stand your ground.
You See A Pattern Of Red Flags
I use to date a guy who told me that he dropped a girl that he was serious about because he met me. This didn’t flatter me one bit. I guess he expected me to feel special, but this only made me question his character.
Ladies, If a man can do something to another woman, he can do it to you. I knew this was a recipe for disaster because he didn’t even have the decency to tell her why he cut her off.
I believe that honesty is key and he rather, ignore her then tell her the truth about why he left her hanging. This was a major turn off and a major red flag.
If you see a man do something questionable, question it. If you catch him in a few lies here and there, if he lives a wild lifestyle or can’t keep a job then pay attention. These are red flags that may come up later on down the line and become an issue.
So let’s get pass this whole talking trend and value real connections and relationships. That’s why I always wished I grew up in the 90s because it was cool to be in love and be with one person.
Nowadays everyone acts like it’s a disease to be with one person and feel loved. Too many damaged people are running around damaging each other and encouraging these sabotaging lifestyles.
You don’t have to be a part of that. Let’s stop this foolishness and level up.