We’ve all had that one friend that always has all the tea on who lost their job or who is having trouble keeping their man.
Sometimes we can be guilty ourselves by taking a front row seat to the mess and feeding into the gossip because we can’t help ourselves.
But see the twist is, this is your home girl, sis, bestie or whatever you want to call her and she knows all of your business.
But what you probably don’t know is that everyone else knows your business too.
You know why?
Because she is not your friend. When you see people like this I urge you to run like hell because if you think that they aren’t talking about you too, then you are a fool.
Never trust a person that is quick to tell you what someone else said about you. When someone is quick to tell you what someone else said about you, your first reply should be,
“And what did you say.”
It is important to ask this question because this question will expose their intentions.
If your “friend,” tells you that they said nothing when you ask them this question, maybe its time for you to reevaluate your friendship.
For those who are saying that people make mistakes and some people can’t help it, save it because you may be that friend. If you are it is okay. You always have another chance to grow and evolve as a person. So instead of making excuses for poor behavior, challenge yourself to be a better friend to someone.
Trust me, I do get it. Sometimes people do make mistakes and we say hurtful things about one another out of anger, but when we add third parties to the equation who does not have the best interest of our friends, the legitimacy of our friendship comes into question.
My friends may disappoint me to the point where we may not even speak for a while, but I would never sit back and allow someone disrespects them. If someone truly cares about you they will defend you in the mist of your enemies.
Trust me, I know because I’ve been in this situation before.
One day I went out with my “friend,” and a group of girls out to eat and realized that there was some tension, but I couldn’t pinpoint why. I asked my “friend,” if she noticed it too and her response through me off.
“They said that they don’t like you because they felt like you were acting stuck up like you didn’t want to be there. I tried to joke with you to lighten up the mood, but you were acting like a B…,”
At this moment I realized that they were all talking about me including my friend. From that moment on I knew that she wasn’t my real friend. I continued to stay in contact with her, but I kept her at a distance because I lost all respect for her.
Years down the line someone close told me that she was jealous of me. This time she talked about me to someone that cared about me and they told me to cut her off completely. At this moment everything made sense. Maybe she didn’t defend me because a part of her wanted those girls not to like me.
She was the type of person that was a people pleaser so she often altered her demeanor for people to like her and if someone didn’t she would try to turn others against that person through manipulation and gossip.
The moral of the story is, when someone is quick to tell you what someone said about you, don’t forget to ask them what did they say back. Life is too short to waste your time surrounded by people who don’t have your best interest so let them go.