The Real Reason Why Ladies Only Want Guy Friends

rayvensatterfield-3We all know that one girl that we can not stand.

The girl that sleeps with everyone’s man. The girl who is super loud in the morning for no reason. The girl who thinks she’s “all that” because she is Instagram famous when we all know she bought her followers. Or the girl that is always mad for no reason.

Well you know what, that girl is not the problem. Yes, I said it she is not the problem and here is why.

In society women are taught to hate one another from the times they are born. We are taught to compete with one another to be the best.

I use to be that girl who hated other girls because, I believed that other girls were the problem. A few days ago I came to the conclusion that I am a part of the problem. For me to hate another woman because of her faults would make me a hypocrite. We all have been that girl that we hate at one point in our  lives.

Someone once told me that we hate people because, we see something in them that we hate about ourselves. We complain that we can’t stand it when girls are shady then, brag when we throw shade as if we have that right. Everyone has looked at someone at-least one time in their life and mentally judged something about them. Shade has no gender, anyone can do that.

We have to change our minds and learn to love one another despite our flaws. We all have flaws and when we hate someone, we have to look in the mirror and ask ourselves why. Even though we are taught to compete with one another we can reverse that. Stop giving in to the ways of society and be yourself.

There is only one you. When you are yourself, you don’t have time to put other woman down because, you are in your own lane. When you stay in you own lane you understand your value and encourage other woman because you understand that they are not a threat.



  1. I nodded my head all through this Rayven. I totally agree. I’ve often wondered when we were taught to literally hate and compete with one another. It’s unnecessary and the sooner girls and women learn that, the better off we’ll all be.

  2. I’m in the weird position of having mostly guy friends out of coincidence. It’s not that I dislike other ladies, it just sort of worked out that four out of six (five out of seven if you count my husband, haha) of my friends happen to be guys. My best friend is a guy too, he was even one of my bridesmaids (brosmaid). I think there are definitely girls that like to have group of guy friends because they want to be that “cool girl, who just doesn’t get along with other women”, but I think there are also people that just genuinely find common interests and real friendships in them too. You just never know (well maybe you do, the first group likes to be vocal about how “they don’t get along with other women”).

    I figure that people are people, and they can be friends with who they want!

    /somewhat of a rant!

    However I really like the point you brought up with the first group of people. It is really important to identify why you don’t like a certain group, or gender, or whatever, and really look within for the answer as to why you don’t like them. Nine times out of ten, its because they represent something that you dislike about yourself. You will like more people, when you can like all the things that make you who you are!


    1. I agree with you. I have a lot of guy friends still but I am less harsh on other woman. The problem starts when woman put other woman down and use that as an excuse to only interact with men.

    2. I’m the same as Mackenzie. Since kindergarten it just kind of happened that way. Didn’t hate other girls / women, just bonded more with the guys. Always had female friends though. I’ve also heard from early childhood not to ever trust women, always try to deal with a man, and never introduce your man to your best friend, because she will steal him. Never lived by that, but I have a younger relative who does. I judge her because of her personality, same as I judge my male relatives. But yeah, there’s too much of that around.

      Rayven, really like your blog.

  3. Great read! It is true, we hate more like envy another woman for their faults. I think we envy their insecurities wishing that was all we had to be insecure about. Until we as women start to love our own insecurites then we will always envy the faults (insecurities) of others. Love your own self.

  4. Excellent post! I’ve never thought about this before, but i hated other girls in high school in a really ugly way. I don’t know why I didn’t think about it before. I’ve been married 23 years, to the love of my life, and all of that has disappeared. Almost everyone I know is married or is in a serious relationship. There isn’t any competition.

    Now all my friends are women, I request female doctors, I massage therapists, chiropractors, psychiatrists and therapists​, etc.
    I connect with women so much than men.

    Women rock!

  5. Hi Rayven! Fascinating post! Thanks for sharing it!

    As a guy, I look at women with only guy friends from “the other side”, so to speak.

    Growing up, someone cautioned me to be careful becoming close to a woman unless she had friends of her own sex — or a good reason not to. Their thinking was that a woman’s female friends showed, better than the fact of her male friends, that she was a decent person, because maybe her male friends were only friendly with her because they wanted sex. They pointed out, though, that there were exceptions to the rule, women who had only male friends for various honest reasons.

    I’ve found that person’s advice to be pretty good — and that it applies to both women and men. Whenever I’ve met a man with no close male friends, and no excuses why not, he’s almost always turned out to be a jerk.

    As for women being taught to hate women, that’s just tragic and wrong both. It’s disturbing anyone would teach people something as foolish as that.

    On a related point, I think anyone who only has friends of their own sex is sadly impoverished. Other-sex friendships can do so much to enrich a person’s life!

    Thanks for a great post!

    1. Thank you for your insight. I totally agree. I noticed that as well with men who don’t have other male friends. I notice most of them were more likely to gossip when I was in high school. It’s not as bad now that I am in college but I run across a few guys like that. I even had a bad encounter with a guy like that. It is healthy to be able to learn and experience life with both sexes rather than one over the other.

  6. We ladies complain that men keep us down, when in fact it is women keeping each other down. We need to come together and help and build each other up, not tear each other down.

    1. I totally agree. It is easier said than done but we can do it. I am working on renewing my mind as we speak. We have to be consistent and take baby steps. I start by not returning negative energy. Sometime when another woman is rude to us we get defensive but I try to make an effort to not return that negative energy.

  7. I have never understood this. I’ve had women who became friends tell me “I hated you because I had a crush on your boyfriend.” I’ve lost jobs because the wife was insecure that I got along with her husband, even though there was no interest on either side to be more than work friends. I have never poached another woman’s boyfriend/husband. When I was 15 I met an older boy who would be my friend all his life. I ran with one pack of boys and another pack of girls. I was never taught to hate girls, although I remember hearing the same old spiel of non-trust. I like the fact that men think differently than women, that extra viewpoint is fascinating and adds balance to my life. While I don’t understand it, I’ve certainly seen enough of it to agree with your point!

    1. It is okay to have male friends but I try not to shut woman out. I made a video recently about people hating you for no reason and I fight that by not returning the energy that they send me. I use to walk around looking angry because in my mind it was me against the world because I’ve been in so many situations like yourself that I just gave up on people especially women. You can’t change the women who hate you, they have to change themselves. There are still woman out there that think the same way you think and if you come together you it would be a beautiful thing.

  8. Funny, I don’t ever remember being taught to hate other women. My Mom always modeled having good women friends, so to this day I do. Guess I’m very blessed because my women friends are the ones I can rely more on rather then the men… I have good men friends too, but my women friends seem to understand me more, well, because they are women too! xo

  9. You better say that! Those other women are NOT the problem! The day I came to this realization I started making more of an effort to see the real beauty in other women and actually trying to get to KNOW them instead of being a hater because they walk the world differently than I do. This was a needed read this morning!

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