Over the years I’ve learned that sometimes it is better to stand alone. Their are times when we crave companionship and relations, but at what cost are we willing to pay for it? Time and time, again I’ve found myself surrounded by people who do not contribute anything positive to my life around me.
In the past I talked to people for the sake of being bored or feeling alone until I realized that I felt lonelier around people who did not fulfill any purpose. Often times I may come off as reserved because I am very selective with who I allow into my life, but you can’t be afraid to expect more from people.
A friend of mine once told me that he stopped caring when people treated him bad because he stop expecting much from people but this can be a bad thing. Lowering your expectations, limits your quality of life. Imagine how life would be if everyone who you allowed was on your team?
We will never experience this true satisfaction if we are not cautious of who we allow in our inner circle. Some people use people for what they need and keep it moving. For instance, in high school, I had friends that served different purposed. This is not a terrible thing but how would you feel if someone only wanted to be your friend to fulfill one thing.
What if someone hung out with you when their other friends were not available. I never did this exactly, but I’ve been in situations where I was that friend that tagged along so someone wouldn’t be alone. This is the worst time of friendship because it showed that you are not valued for who you are.
One red flag that someone is not your friend is if you have never had a serious or deep conversation with them or if you feel uncomfortable sharing your life with them. Life is to short too hold on to people that has no value in your life.
When I was at work yesterday I noticed that a few ladies around my age where socializing on on their lunch break when I walked in. I consider myself selectively social so I stood back and observed their behavior. I noticed that they were very unapproachable and closed off to others who were outside of the group. I didn’t take it personal because observing people’s behavior is my way of dissecting who someone truly is.
When they were alone and outside of the group I noticed that they were more open to get to know me and took the initiative to reach out which disturbed me a little. It bothered me how much people are willing to do to feel socially validated.
When they were together no one had any interest in getting to know who I was or anyone else when they validated one another but, when they were alone, their approach changed. When they approached me individually when I had to work with them, I did not value their company because I didn’t see it as genuine.
I am not telling you to shut the world out, but know the difference between someone who is there to fill up time and someone who will not just fill that time but, help you elevate. Until you recognize who those people are don’t be afraid to stand alone.