Check Yourself

 

Are you truly happy with the person you are at this very moment?

If you are then you are already ahead of the game, I applaud you because it’s not easy. If not then I am with you and we will get through this together. I don’t have the answer to everything and I am not hear to preach to you. I want you to learn from my experiences, connect to them, reminisce if that is the case. Get to know me raw and uncut so that it could encourage you through my troubles that you may be facing now or will face in the future.

If you read my article “Ask Me If I Care”, you would see that I was ready to walk down a new path. I was tired of allowing people, anxiety, and discouragement to get me down. Well lets just say I have a new attitude. After the third day of being the “new” me anxiety whooped my behind. I became so self-centered that I acted as I was above the world. I acted as if those who did acknowledge me didn’t exist and carried a nonchalant attitude. This superficial idea of confidence crumbled as soon as someone challenged me.

To this very day I still struggle with allowing particular people to intimidate me. I saw someone who made me feel less than I thought I was and my whole ideology crumbled at that very moment. That scared little girl was unleashed from my soul and I was back at square one.

After a weekend of solitude, I decided to change my approach. I choose to be humble. I realized that the same way that the person who made me feel worthless was the person that I was acting like. I guess you can say I got a taste of my own medicine and it was awful. I put my confidence in God and tell him to lead me. When you don’t keep him with you, sometimes all hell will break loose.

You cannot do it on your own because if you could it would already be done. Whatever it is that you are going through, know that you have to shine brighter. That light is in you and you cant let the darkness intimidate you. I am stronger than my troubles, anxiety, pain and sorrow because God is in me.

When you think you have it all together, don’t forget to check yourself. There is more to life than ourselves.


Advertisements

17 comments

  1. Very well said. Years ago, back in HS, when my anxiety reared its ugly head, my defense mechanism was to give attitude. I seemed annoyed and had attitude. It was just a front though. After a few years I realized that I hated to feel anxious AND angry. I changed my defense mechanism to humor. Let me tell you how much better that was for me! I am a nice person. I can be quiet and shy but I do love to joke around and have fun. I learned that I opened myself up to so many more people and opportunities by slapping a smile on my face. The “fake it till you make it” attitude true my does work. The moment I smile and have a great time, my anxiety fades away. So you taking the bumble approach is great. But remember, you can be humble and also demand the respect you deserve. I know how difficult it is, but you’ll get there. With God, nothing is impossible ☺️.

  2. When I was in India serving as a missionary, I woke up in a foreign room with foreign sounds coming from outside, and it struck me that I was thousands of miles away from home. I could not hop on a train and head back. I could not just “give up” and forget about this. I had never traveled before, and I was terrified. I remember just sitting on the edge of the hostel bed (it was around 5AM), trembling because I did not think I could survive abroad, that I could nto survive in a region as impoverished as the one we were sent to.

    And I felt like I was hyperventilating so I went to the windows and opened the blinds. The sun was coming out, washing over the city for miles. It was so beautiful, and I realized that the Lord would not have sent me to India if I was unable. I was doing his work, and He would not let me fall.

    No matter what we do, so long as we do it in His name, He will watch over us.

  3. Great post Rayven! Someone once said that if you’re angry with how someone else is acting, then look at yourself; you can probably see the same characteristics because we’re like a reflection of one another. This post reminds me of that. Glad to see you worked through it.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s