To Be Or Not To Be… Beauty Is The Question


What makes a person beautiful? Does a twenty inch weave or a perfectly beat face qualify me to be beautiful. Lately I have been dealing with an internal conflict with my idea of what makes me beautiful.

Someone recently told me that I was beautiful and I shrugged it off telling that I had the potential to look better. I would brag about how in high school my hair was always on point. My hair was always laid with a perm and when I decided to go natural I would hide my kinky hair under a weave.

I realized that my idea of beauty was not defined by makeup nor my clothes. I became obsessed with beauty in a way where I measured it by the style of my hair. Most of the time I wear a kinky textured faux bun to resemble natural hair because I am not happy with the length of my hair. Although it has grown over the past two years since i did the big chop, my hair has suffered from years of heat damage and breakage trying to blend my natural hair with weaves and not properly moisturizing my hair because I cake it up with gel the lay my edges down in a bun.

This summer I may end up having to cut my hair again but this time I am deciding to wear it out in its natural state. I am nervous about this but it is time to learn to love myself for all of me.



  1. Right? It’s about what YOU think. Not what anybody else in the whole wide world thinks. It’s not about preconceived judgments about what you’re supPOSED to look like. It’s about what makes you happy, comfortable, what makes you want to skip down the street and stop twice in front of the mirror!

    I’m so PROUD of you!!


  2. I did the big chop in 2005 and it was probably the best decision I ever made. I walked around bald for 3 years and I felt beautiful. Society tries always to define what they think ought and should be beautiful but they are never what God has defined as beauty especially as his words in Psalms 139:14 lets us know that each and everyone of us is wonderfully and fearfully made by him…

    1. Thank you for your encouragement. I am at a point in life where I am learning to learn to love myself regardless of how anyone think I should look. I’m trying to free myself from people bondage.

  3. It is all part of the journey! It is good that you got to go through all that with your hair even if you had damaging results. In the end, you have experience and advice that you’ll be able to pass on to others. Celebrate yourself unapologetically and only tolerate those who do the same!

  4. Tuesday Morning Greetings, Rayven!
    Loved this piece. I, too, did the Big Chop. Mine was last October, and I embraced the world with my version of a TWA after years of long Sisterlocks. Yes, it’s all there on my blog, Claudia Moss. After my TWA grew out long enough to be cornrowed, I discovered CROCHET BRAIDS! They are the best thing since paper money! I love them! I’ve got to do an update on how my natural hair is progressing. Oh, ad please note that I wear my Crochet Braids as a protective style, to allow my natural fragile delicate hair an opportunity to rest. No, I am not hiding it from the world. I love my hair in all of its coily glory!!!
    So keep doing you, Beautiful One!
    I’m loving your blog home…

    1. Thank you so much. I appreciate your support. I was actually thinking about getting crochet braids once the semester is over so its funny that you mentioned it. But I definitely have to cut my hair and learn to love it through the process.

  5. It all starts on the inside- when you define beauty for yourself, it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks! Keep loving on you! And know that there’s a community of sisters out here to support you on your journey! xo

  6. Being beautiful radiates from within. The outside is only a glimpse of what lies beneath R. The glow of hot, peace, and happiness. Be you be beautifully. Thanks for the likes and I love that video. Xoxox

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