What makes a person beautiful? Does a twenty inch weave or a perfectly beat face qualify me to be beautiful. Lately I have been dealing with an internal conflict with my idea of what makes me beautiful.
Someone recently told me that I was beautiful and I shrugged it off telling that I had the potential to look better. I would brag about how in high school my hair was always on point. My hair was always laid with a perm and when I decided to go natural I would hide my kinky hair under a weave.
I realized that my idea of beauty was not defined by makeup nor my clothes. I became obsessed with beauty in a way where I measured it by the style of my hair. Most of the time I wear a kinky textured faux bun to resemble natural hair because I am not happy with the length of my hair. Although it has grown over the past two years since i did the big chop, my hair has suffered from years of heat damage and breakage trying to blend my natural hair with weaves and not properly moisturizing my hair because I cake it up with gel the lay my edges down in a bun.
This summer I may end up having to cut my hair again but this time I am deciding to wear it out in its natural state. I am nervous about this but it is time to learn to love myself for all of me.