Today Is A New Day

Speaking out has always been a difficult task for me. I remain silent because its easier. It’s easier to let people assume who you are, well at least it is for me. I fear speaking up because I fear what people will think about me so I hide behind my wall. My invisible wall is a shield I use against anything that could possibly hurt me but the cost of the wall is life.

Are you truly living if the person you really are is layered underneath the exterior of what others see. I give those around me my poker face so they can’t see the hurt and vulnerability that lies beneath my poker face. Well the silence is getting old and isolation has had a toll on me. The lack of human connection can be a bit lonely at times and sometimes it’s nice not to face the world alone.

The truth is, we all need someone and God is the person to go to. While I’m going through this phase he is with me and won’t leave my side despite the obstacles I will face. I am determined to be more like him and let down the wall of fear. Fear is the cause of my wall and if I trust in him I know I can conquer all things through him.

Lately I have been hooked to this song called “When the Day Comes” by Nico & Vinz. It talks about being a warrior and makes me feel invincible. Whenever I feel down or weak I listen to this song and I gives me hope. Although I may be facing many challenges, there has been many battles that I have faced. Although I have won some and lost some, I will win the war. I will defeat my odds and I will achieve all the things that I have imagined.

Although my voice is silenced now, I will not give up. I refuse to continue hiding behind my wall and silencing my voice. Today I will no longer be afraid.

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21 comments

  1. one thing that i learned in life is that you have to release what hurts inside. its like using cyanide as a mouthwash and letting it stay in there. its poisonous. im an introvert as well, but im never afraid to share even my most deepest experiences. – why? because for one, im pretty sure that there is someone else in the world that has been through the same things and two, your experiences may help someone else. i hope that you are one day able to break down that wall. there will always be people out there that will do wrong by you, you just have to learn to distance away from them and keep on keepin on.

  2. I’ve felt stuck behind that same wall myself. Afraid to be the real me and be vulnerable, but also full of guilt for not having the strength to be confident and outspoken like everyone else. Since it seems like you’re a person of faith, I’ll tell you that the following verse has been encouraging for me in this area: But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. (‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭12‬:‭9‬ ESV) That verse has been comforting because my weakness only magnifies what God is doing in my life. I know that when I reach goals, no matter how small, it is because God is working in spite of my weaknesses. Be encouraged!

    • Thank you so much. I will keep that scripture in mind. Sometimes when i don’t speak up I feel weak. Then I get comfortable with silence because that’s what people expect of me. It makes me question who am I. I guess its time for me to define that for myself.

  3. This is a very real post and I can totally relate. I’m so glad you realise that despite it all God is with you. I’ve had to hang on to that solid truth so much lately. Keep encouraging and being encouraged! 🙂

  4. This really touched my heart and I can sure identify with how you feel. I’ve been on the same journey. But Jesus is and will be faithful to life you up with his sweet love as you keep trusting him. Soon you will have a voice for he can use for lessons to others. I’m know, cause I’m getting better!

  5. There is another reason why we keep silent and it is borne out of wisdom and most definitely God’s wisdom as in Sirach 5: 11-12, where God instructs his people to be swift to hear but slow to answer.He also said that if you can answer you neighbor, do, but if you can’t place your hand over your mouth. Silence is necessary at these times not because we are weak or afraid to speak, but because God instructs us to do so for the tongue can also be our downfall. Thank you always for stopping by my site. You support means a lot to me.

  6. The world can do nothing to a free spirit, sweetheart! Drop the shield and breathe. Let us rejoice in the beauty that is the real YOU!

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