Speaking out has always been a difficult task for me. I remain silent because its easier. It’s easier to let people assume who you are, well at least it is for me. I fear speaking up because I fear what people will think about me so I hide behind my wall. My invisible wall is a shield I use against anything that could possibly hurt me but the cost of the wall is life.
Are you truly living if the person you really are is layered underneath the exterior of what others see. I give those around me my poker face so they can’t see the hurt and vulnerability that lies beneath my poker face. Well the silence is getting old and isolation has had a toll on me. The lack of human connection can be a bit lonely at times and sometimes it’s nice not to face the world alone.
The truth is, we all need someone and God is the person to go to. While I’m going through this phase he is with me and won’t leave my side despite the obstacles I will face. I am determined to be more like him and let down the wall of fear. Fear is the cause of my wall and if I trust in him I know I can conquer all things through him.
Lately I have been hooked to this song called “When the Day Comes” by Nico & Vinz. It talks about being a warrior and makes me feel invincible. Whenever I feel down or weak I listen to this song and I gives me hope. Although I may be facing many challenges, there has been many battles that I have faced. Although I have won some and lost some, I will win the war. I will defeat my odds and I will achieve all the things that I have imagined.
Although my voice is silenced now, I will not give up. I refuse to continue hiding behind my wall and silencing my voice. Today I will no longer be afraid.